My LITTLE Sister's Birthday

So, this is my little sister. Except for the fact that she is taller than me.... But she is still my little sister. Today is her Birthday and she is now 17! Since when did she become a teenager?!! I swear I was just 17! But I'm actually like 19. Ugh. Anyways, Chalene is AWESOME. I love her.

When we were younger, like 9 or 10, I remember we would fight. ALL THE TIME. It was probably more me than her, but it was fun fighting!! I would sit on top of her, with my knees pinning her arms down to the ground, while I tickled her face with my hair, or started to drool spit that I would suck back into my mouth right before I lost control of it. (Occasionally it actually fell out. Maybe just once or twice though) And then eventually of course, mom and dads famous words become a reality, "It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt." And then we would get into a real fight. Well at least for 2 young girls. Not exactly like a cat fight, but as much damage as we could do, without hurting each other enough to get the parents involved. Cuz once mom and dad found out, we'd be worse off than before. But we would hit, Indian burn each others arms, kick, throw pillows, and occasionally pull the hair if we really wanted to fight.

But to my disadvantage, I bit my nails, which meant that I could never scratch her, and it made it hard for me to pinch effectively. I also was, and still kinda am, a germaphobe, so I couldn't just bite her, cuz putting my mouth on other human skin... That's just gross. You never know where that stuff has been! Well, Chalene, seeing as how I was defective in pretty much every way but strength, used this to her advantage. Lets just say I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't have scars on my hands or arms. Clothes were a problem too. Neither of us had more than like 10 shirts at a time, and since I was older and bigger, she always wanted to wear my clothes. This created a bit of a problem because I would find my clothes in her room, on the ground, wrinkled, dirty, and stretched out at the bottom, and would have to remind her (nicely, of course) to put my clothes back, quite often. Well eventually anything I said didn't matter because mom would just defend Chay all the time and make me feel so guilty for not letting her wear my clothes. Thanks mom. But anyways, it was just hard for me having a little sister, and there were so many times that I just wanted to.... Strangle her!! 

Well, as we both got older (and obviously way more mature), we just kind of stopped completely hating each other! Sure we still have to ask to wear the other persons clothes, and sign contracts of agreements, slice each others throats, but that's mostly because of the facial expression the other person displays while fearing for their life. But we can now share clothes in peace, share the same bathroom, curling iron, straightener, room, and even bed. Yes, I live at home, and my parents don't give me a bed. Anyways, I am just so grateful for Chay. She has truly become one of my best friends. She always has a way of making me laugh, and we could stay up for hours, just talking. But of course, we don't do that.... Haha. I love going shopping with her, going to the movies, going shopping, going shopping, listening to her read love novels to me every night, and singing with her at the top of our lungs to all the Barbie and Frozen songs. Chalene is awesome, and I am so glad that I have the opportunity to come home from BYU-I and just spend time with her. I can't wait for her to graduate high school so she can come to church and school with me! (Hint, hint) Sure we have had our hard times - refer to the first 2 paragraphs - but now, I couldn't imagine life without her, and am so glad she is my little sister. She is so talented - shes good at volleyball, all around athletic, great with little kids, plays the piano, plays the violin, has an amazing voice, (when she actually tries) is really good at shooting cans with rubber bands, has a gorgeous smile, strong in the gospel, and just all around, an awesome person. Someday I hope I can be like her, and I am so glad that my little sister is an awesome example to me, and truly one my best friends. She is going to be a killer wife and mom someday and her husband sure is going to be lucky. I love Chalene and I am so glad that we are not only sisters, but friends! Happy Birthday to the best little sister ever! I Love you!

I Love Valentines Day!

      So, since its Valentines Day, I'm just gunna take the next 20 minutes describing my Valentines Day. How horrible it is being single, and how I spent the day with my imaginary boyfriend, and how I bought myself flowers just so that I could feel loved. No, just kidding. I'm not THAT obsessed with wanting to have a boyfriend..... Ok, maybe I am... So what? But in all seriousnessness, today was pretty dang awesome despite my relationship status! You know why? Because I have THE BEST family. Like Ever. Seriously.


      Ok, so this past week, I have just been doing my thing, going to work, you know, making the BIG bucks (Ha), having to go to work... By myself. And just to let you know. I hate being by mythelf. HATE IT. Like.. I can't even go outside to the car at night, without somehow freaking myself out. But dad was gone, and was going to be gone till this Saturday. But on Wednesday night, whenever I got home from institute, I went upstairs to my room, and heard a familiar voice. It was my dads voice!!! He got home EARLY from his trip!! I went in his room to find him and I just felt the Spirit as soon as I saw him, and was so happy to see him I couldn't help but go up to him and give a big hug! Now my dad travels a lot, and by a lot, I mean A LOT. So I mean, he comes and goes often, so its just a normal occurrence for him to be leaving and then coming back home. But this time, I was SO excited to see him, I got teary-eyed! And I just realized how much I love him being home, and how much he means to me. He influences my life in many ways and I love working for him. Anyways, point being.... I love my dad. A LOT. And he is THE best dad ever. I KNOW that he would literally do anything for me. And I am so grateful that he is someone I can look up to. Oh, and can I just add how much I want my future relationship to be like his and moms? He always talks about how much he really does love mom, despite her shopping habit, or her not-answering-her-phone habit. He always makes sure that I know no matter what, that he loves her. And I am so glad because literally- my mom is awesome. No, not that kind of awesome. Think awesomer. Yupp. And he always makes sure that every one of us kids knows how much he loves us too. Working with my dad has definitely been one of the best experiences of my life. And I think its because I get to know him. I get to know what he does at work, I know how stressful his job can be, I know how hard he works, and I know what he sacrifices to make MY life better. I just love him so much, and am so glad that I am his daughter. I know I can always look up to him as my awesome example of what I want my husband to be like. I love you daddy!


      So then, today. Valentines Day. Oh Valentines Day. I have never really hated it, nor loved it. Except maybe when a guy I liked got me a whole big bag of skittles and chocolate. Best day of high school. But anyways, I was just on facebook, and saw all these girls posting about either A: How lucky they were to be with their husband/boyfriend/man of their dreams... etc. Or B: How...(Refer to sentence #2 of blog). I get it. If I had a boyfriend or whatever, HECK ya I'd be posting a cute picture of us, and every cute thing that he did! And if I was desperate to get sympathy comments about how so many guys are probably just secretly in love with me, or how cute I really am, or how boys are crazy to NOT want to be with me, I think I WOULD post a picture of me by myself! But no. At least not today. I might eat my words next year... But Honestly, today I realized how awesome my life really is, despite my lack of a significant other. Back to Facebook. As I was scrolling through, I happened upon an article that caught my attention, so I clicked on the site, and started reading. And holy cow. I am so glad that I did. Here it is. You just have to read it for yourself because its pretty awesome. Its a great way to view life. Especially if your single and just want to get married! It just kinda speaks for itself, and I agree completely. Oh and I love the movie comparison.
http://malcolmravenclaw.com/spiritual-experiences/single-wondering-will-life-begin/#more-1015
Oh and while I'm on the subject of being single, I also found another blog that I always think about, and refer back to, whenever I get down, or try to blame others. Just read it. Whether your single or not. Seriously
http://www.forwardwalking.com/when-happiness-hurts-2/
So ya, hopefully you actually read both of them. I know the first one is kinda long, but you NEED to read the second one. Its super awesome, and short! Both are pluses.


      So another reason why today was awesome was because I just got to talk to Nathan. Yes, my brother who used to do nothing but tease me, but now, he is one of my best friends. And I am so grateful I have him as an example to look up to. But I called him today, and was just talking to him about the boys nonexistent in my life, and his shoulder injury, and how he is still playing on it, but not to worry, because he is only blocking.... Crazy person.... and just about life, and Valentines Day. And you know what he said to me??? He said, "Well you know Caryn, (finish reading picture below, if you haven't already)





Ya. Despite his cruel, heart-stabbing comment, I still love Nathan. And forgave him of his sins. Haha. Its a good thing he was kidding.... I think. I hope. But I really do love him and miss him a lot. He has been at college with me, EVERY semester, and this semester, he is up there without me. And next semester is our last semester together at the same school. Sad. But I am so SO grateful that he treats me like more of a best friend instead of an annoying, immature little sister. He is just awesome!!


      Ok, so the other reason Valentines Day was awesome was because of my awesome sister in law, Stephanie!! I came home from work, just expecting the usual- everyone gone but Jordan, who is sitting at the TV, playing tank wars, so I go and lay on the couch and watch him strategically die-or not die, while asking him questions about the game, so that if I ever actually play, I can be a pro, while waiting for dinner to just magically appear on the table, and mom to say that dinner is ready, so we sit down and eat! But, tonight, this was not the case at all!!! I came home, and saw something on the counter, that was pink. And it had MY name on it. And it was Valentines Day. My awesome sister in law had gotten me lotion, and a necklace that she made herself! Just for me. It was just so awesome and so thoughtful, I found myself rubbing a couple tears away. I love Stephanie. And I am so glad that she married my awesome brother Davin. We also went shopping the other day (Me, Chalene, and Stephanie) and it was SO fun!! We were at San Tan Mall literally ALL day. I just love my family.


      Another reason Valentines Day was great was because I got paid!! Hooray!


      Another reason why my Valentines Day was awesome was the fact that my family came over tonight, and we just chilled at my house! I love it whenever Justin's family comes over. I always have so much fun just sitting in our family room, talking and listening to conversations, and just laughing. Side Note/Story: 2 Nights ago, I was over at Justin and Ashleigh's, just chilling with her and my sweet niece and nephews, waiting for Justin to get home. Well after the kids were all in bed, we tried hooking up my phone to her computer to get a video that I recorded of Ellie, while they were gone in Chile. (I WILL post it sometime because it is AWESOME.) So while trying to get it to work, Ashleigh noticed that Ethan's new guppy that he got from school, about the size of a small paperclip, had already dirtied its water after just two days, so we tried to figure out the best way to dump out the old water down the drain, without Ethan's friend going down as well. We figured the best way was to fill up a bowl of water, stick the fish inside of it, dump out the nasty water from the cup, refill the cup with fresh water, and dump the guppy back into the cup. After Ashleigh had filled the cup with the fresh water, we then had to think about how to stick the fish back into the cup. But before we had any brilliant ideas... The fish jumped out of the bowl, and into the sink. Before I could even think, Ashleigh starts screaming this blood curdling scream, and to my surprise, all I could do was laugh and watch as she hopped around, trying (with a fork), to keep the fish from flipping itself down the drain. Well after she stopped screaming, we had to figure out how to give this fish some water, so it could stay alive, when Ashleigh said "Oh man, if this stupid fish goes down the drain, Ethan is going to KILL me." Then it started to flip again, pretty high for a guppy about as big as a paperclip, and I hear Ashleigh say to the fish "Oh man, if you get up on my sleeve..." Haha. I seriously tried so hard not to laugh. It was probably because I had never seen my beautiful, sweet, always in control, sister in law, be.... NOT in control. Haha. You should have been there because it was hilarious. Seriously. And I'm not trying to make fun of you Ashleigh, I promise, because hey, I was scared to touch this paperclip-sized fish, but this is just now one of those times that you think about, and you just have to laugh because its so funny. Anyways, back to the story. So I grabbed a spoon, to try to scoop the fish into the cup, Ashleigh with the fork, and we tried to kind of pick it up and put it into the cup. Well finally, after a few more screams, and jumping, we got it into that small cup, and as quick as I set the spoon in the sink, Ashleigh had put the lid on the cup. Man. It was hilarious and this story DEFINTELY makes it into my 'funniest memories'. I could not stop smiling. It was just a fun-filled night with Ashleigh.


      I am so grateful for her, marrying my oldest brother Justin, and practically teaching me everything I need to know about babies, and kids, and other grown-up stuff! She is always so nice to compliment me, and do my hair, and just talk to me, and trust me with her kids!! I love Justin and Ashleigh's kids and Ashleigh is DEFINITELY another mother role model for me. You can just tell that she loves all of her children and would do anything for them, and Justin. She has shown me what being a mother is all about, and the joys and happy moments that come from spending time with your kids. She has a quote upstairs in the play room that says, "Love is spelled T-I-M-E" and this is so true. I have never seen another little girl besides Ellie, so sad to the point of crying, because she misses her mommy so much, after just one day of being gone, and so happy to go to the airport to get her. I hope that when I have kids someday, they will love me just as much as your kids love you. You are awesome Ashleigh, and I have always looked up to you and wanted to be just like you. I am SO glad that you are a part of my family, and that you married my angel brother. You guys are just the cutest, and I love you both! And of course your children, whom I could never get sick of*. (*Disclaimer: This is NOT an invitation to take off, and go to Hawaii for a year) :D


      So last week, I got an email from my favoritest brother in law- Nate. Thinking it was just a reply to a dota conversation my family has going on right now, I opened it and was shocked to see a picture that he had sent, of Chanda playing dota, with the subject line reading: Girls I need your help. And the email reading: So I plugged Chanda into the electric pacifier (aka dota) and tried my best at braids. I need yall to teach me the ways of the hair!
At first, I looked at it, and thought that it looked like something was growing out of her head, and then I realized it was just braids. Just kidding. I was actually pretty impressed at how well a boy-I mean a man, could braid hair! I don't think I have ever seen such a well-done braid completed (except for that little left out piece in the middle) by the opposite species. Job well done Nate!! I really miss Nate and Chanda! Chanda is always so good to make anyone feel loved and cared about, which is apparent by her calls at least once a month which I absolutely LOVE. The other day she called me (pretty much in desperation) and asked if I could come to Utah to curl her hair for the next two hours before Nate got home, and they went on their date. I love Chanda. And Nate can always bring a smile to my face, even if I do take forever going to the bathroom, getting my shoes, and getting a drink RIGHT before we leave. I can't wait for them to come and live in Arizona!! (This last comment is to be taken literally)


      Lindsay also sent me an email the other day asking everyone in our family to remember a memory or something about family dinners. It took me a while, but I finally got one. Thank you Lindsay for allowing me to laugh and remember this awesome moment that I had with Jordan and Chay. And thanks for marrying Barrett! I love you both and am super sad that you guys are graduating and won't be up there with me and Nate! You were always so nice to let me babysit your daughter, and pay me with dinner!! Best dinners I had all semesters. Seriously. Good luck with finding a job, and a home, and raising your adorable daughter, Celeste Lynn Smith! (Say that 5 times fast) Anyways, here is just one of my many memories at the dinner table. I would say its a poem, but it doesn't sound like one at all... Anyways, you can read it if you want!


So one time, me, Jordan and Chalene sat down to eat dinner at the table,
but mom hadn't made it yet, so we just snacked on whatever we could find, whatever we were able.
Luckily, we spotted some goldfish, and freshly picked tangerines, sitting around, just waiting to be eaten,
So we started to eat, but I realized this needed some chocolate, or something that would sweeten.
I ran upstairs, to find my secret stash, and sure enough, I found exactly what I wanted,
"These M&Ms are perfect, a scrumptious treat that I found" running back downstairs, I vaunted.
So we joyfully continued to eat the M&Ms, tangerines, and goldfish. Separately of course, but all still turning into chyme,
But just then, me and Jordan had a BRILLIANT idea!! Why not eat them all.... At the same time??
That obviously sounded like a good idea, we all thought, and a pretty dang good combination as well.
After all, M&Ms and tangerines must taste like a chocolate orange, those yummy things at Wal-Mart that they sell.
Chalene backed out, probably a little too gutsy for her, but she got out her camera recorder, cuz after all, we were still waiting for mom.
Jordan and I were still up for the challenge, and we had one tangerine slice, 3 goldfish, and 5 M&Ms, all just sitting in our palms.
Me and Jordan glanced at eachother, hoping one would back out, but Chay counted to three, and into the mouth, our food went squish.
At first, you just bit into the tangerine, which was really good, but then came the weird combination flavor of, the goldfish.
This flavor was definitely not worth the effort or calories, and obviously not worth the cringe that so easily came,
And when we thought it couldn't get any nastier, we had the M&M flavor, at which instant, me and Jordan thought exactly the same.
We learned an important lesson that day. Food is good by itself, but never make eating it together, just a simple game.
This video, P.S. is not available for public consumption.


      So anyways.... My point of this long post, is to tell the whole wide world (Or just you) how much I love you!!! Since your most likely part of my family. Yes, I know, I'm so popular. But I LOVE my family and am so grateful that I have all of you part of life! You are the best family EVER. Ethan the other day was asking some questions about how we are all related, and how we are a family, and Justin said something to him along the lines of "Someday your going to be lucky enough to meet a girl that you want to marry, and you'll be so happy, you'll want to become part of a new family, and start a family with her, and be with them together forever." This is probably really badly quoted, but I hope that someday I marry someone who loves me and my family, and is so happy that he wants to create a family with me. And of course we live happily ever after with 8 kids. :) But today, MY family is the best family for ME, and I am so grateful for my grandparents, parents, brothers, sisters, brother in-law, sisters in-law, and my nieces, and nephews. You have ALL influenced me in my life and have made me want to be a better person. I will always look up to your examples and try to follow in your steps so that I can be a better person, always growing with you, trying more and more each day to be more like our Savior. I love you and am so grateful the in the pre-existence, we chose to be sealed together forever, as an eternal family. I'm so glad, and you all just make me so happy! Oh and thanks for reading my blog! K, Bye!

Tender Mercies Tonight

Alright, I have just had the best night ever!! I am so freakin blessed, it’s not even funny. But to start off, babies are definitely little miracles that just prove that there is a God, and that He knows EXACTLY what He is doing. My little niece, Celeste Lyn Smith (Say that ten times really fast) was born today and as I went to visit, it’s just amazing what Heavenly Father allows us women to do and accomplish. And someday, I hope to have a little one to call my own, with the man of my life. Babies are just amazing and are truly a gift from God. As parents, we are loaned these precious, sweet little things, to raise while they live here on earth, and then we return them back to our Heavenly Father. It’s just so amazing to think about!! Ok, and the other thing is too- my brother is the sweetest!! First off, I was stressing out, not really wanting to hurry and pack for Utah, because we are coming back in two days anyways, so I decided that I would just stay here in Idaho. So Nate, who was really excited to go down, and wanting me to pick up the pace packing, just decided to stay here with me, after telling him of my plan. And I didn't even have to try to persuade him, he just trusted me, and decided to do whatever I wanted. And then when I went over to borrow the car from him-which he willingly gave up, I got a present from him!! Of course my birthday was last week, but how nice is that?? When I opened up my new pair of swim shorts which miraculously fit perfectly, and three new pairs of earrings, I couldn't help but just cry. I am so loved, and I just have the best brother ever. Who else’s brother plans months ahead for their sister’s birthday, and gets them a present?? Probably not very many.

My family just in general is awesome!! I don't think any family is more perfect for me, than my own. Everyone in my family is so awesome, and the awesomeness just keeps coming!! It’s crazy to think that my family started out as just 10 people, and is now up to 18 people!!And EVERY SINGLE person is special, and just brings so much fun and happiness into our family. So then, as it’s the semester, I took my last final today, hoping to get at least a 64 on my Nutrition test, just to keep my B in the class. Well, I just got home, and looked online, and I got an 83%!!And just to inform you, the last 3 tests I got a 64, 63.5, and then a 64.5. So I was pretty worried. But I passed with an 83! Of course I studied for the past 2-3 hours for it, but I just know right now that I am so blessed. And I just had to write my experiences tonight down. I know that Heavenly Father answers prayers, and He knows exactly what I need, exactly when I need them. And tonight was just proof of that, and that He loves me. And I love Him, and my family so much. They are all so awesome and I can’t wait to see all of them!!

And here is a story I just read that is just a good story.


Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same
hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an
hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from
his lungs.

His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on
his back.

The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their
homes, their jobs, their involvement in the
military service, where they had been on
vacation..

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the
window could sit up, he would pass the time by
describing to his roommate all the things he could
see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those
one hour periods where his world would be
broadened and enlivened by all the activity and
colour of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.Ducks and swans played on the water while
children sailed their model boats. Young lovers
walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every colour
and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen
in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in
exquisite details, the man on the other side of
the room would close his eyes and imagine this
picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window
described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not hear the band -
he could see it in his mind's eye as the
gentleman by the window portrayed it with
descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring
water for their baths only to find the lifeless body
of the man by the window, who had died
peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the hospital
attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man
asked if he could be moved next to the window.
The nurse was happy to make the switch, and
after making sure he was comfortable, she left
him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one
elbow to take his first look at the real world
outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window
besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have
compelled his deceased roommate who had
described such wonderful things outside this
window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and
could not even see the wall.

She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage
you.'

There is tremendous happiness in making others
happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness
when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all the things
you have that money can't buy.
'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The
Present .

Get Married and Stay that Way!

When parents say that it’s better for them to divorce instead of staying together, it’s actually worse for the kids. But often times, after divorce, they talk badly about each other, and start to hate each other because of reasons of getting custody for the kids. 70% of people in the US believe that 2 years after divorce realize that they made a mistake, and actually regret that they didn’t save their marriage. 70% also remarry within 2 years. Many people actually divorce out of passion, which sounds weird, but makes sense when you think about how people marry out of passion. But, most likely in all cases, you’ll probably have harder challenges after divorce. Which is why divorce can be so hard for everyone! Especially the children. Boys need that father figure, and daughters need a mother. Generally the boys learn from their father how to make money and be responsible, and the girls learn what they need to know about being a future mother.

Elder Faust in a talk he gave, mentioned some reasons for divorce, which are prolonged or abusive wrong actions, and addiction without effort to get help, or if they are just not doing things conducive to the Spirit. In D&C 50:23, it says, “And that which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness.” And it is evil to know that something is wrong, and to not do anything about it. And in Matt. 18:15-17, it says, “But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” I would just like to encourage everyone, no matter what you are going through to watch this video by Dallin H. Oaks because it’s awesome! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQ1yLFIEVNo Oh and also!! This is like the cutest video ever about what a marriage SHOULD be like. It’s just touching!! And I know that if we strive to keep our marriage together, and focus it on Christ and our spouse, we will be blessed and we have that opportunity to live our families forever!!! Which is awesome!! Ok, here’s the awesome video! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdCPMwhvJ88

Parents are ESSENTIAL!!!

The way that we parent our kids, affects both the parents and the children. If we spend time with our children, and teach them, we get to know our children, and learn of their wants, needs, goals, and dreams. When parents don’t parent their own kids, they lose that opportunity to truly know and love their own kids. They also don’t learn how to be good parents, and what is needed to know how to be a good parent. They also won’t realize the value of parenting. The Lord allows us to be parents for a reason. We learn and grow so much from teaching, and watching our children grow up, and learn themselves. We learn to love and experience true joy through children. And the Lord is kind and brave enough to lend us HIS children, so that we can raise them and teach them. Children need parents. They need someone to love them, and they need someone to talk to, lean on, and to love.

What are some things that our parents have taught us? What are some experiences that we have gone through with our parents? Now what if our parents were just gone, and we were raised by babysitters, siblings, or nannies? The purposes of parenting is to protect our children, and prepare them to survive and thrive in the world that we live in. We teach our kids to be in the world, but not of the world. If we are not actively participating in their lives, we cannot do that. We should be interested in helping to define our children’s character. 4 Characteristics that all children need to have are: Courage, responsibility, cooperation, and respect. Courage is needed for self-confidence, and its doing the right thing even when you’re scared. Model how to be respectful, because if we want them to treat us with love and respect, then we have to treat them with that same amount.

There are 5 major goals that all children, especially teens strive for. Belonging, power, protection, withdrawal, and challenge. Kids need contact, and to feel belonged. This isn’t a want, it’s a need, and it’s critical. When kids help, they gain a sense of belonging, which everyone wants. And everyone wants to feel like they can fit in, and are loved. Teach them how to contribute, and to cooperate. Both of these make us feel valuable. And little kids especially just LOVE to help work, cook, and clean. It also prepares them to be good parents if we actually let them help, and be responsible.

Give your children responsibility early so that they can conquer harder things later on in life. Responsibility=choice + consequences. People who take responsibility for their actions learn and grow from their mistakes. As parents, we shouldn’t interfere with the consequences our children deserve, and may have agreed on. Love your kids enough to let them have consequences without interfering, so that they can learn. When we put ourselves in our teen’s service and do not require them to accept responsibility for their own behavior, we are not respecting their ability to handle confrontation and stand on their own two feet. We also cannot be passive parents which are uninvolved parents who want to be more of a buddy or friend to their child, more than an actual parent. They just want the child’s approval, and that leads the kids to think that since their parents will do anything for them, they don’t have to listen. If we are passive parents, and don’t give our children any responsibility, nothing happens, and we are even hurting our child.

When giving your children consequences, put the consequence in the form of a choice. But make sure they are choices that you can live with. Ask them their opinions as to what the consequences should be, and let them decide. And make sure the consequence is logically connected to their wrong actions. There are two ways to give a choice. Give an, either/or choice. This works when wanting your kids to stop doing something. When you want kids to start doing something, give them a when/then choice. But these are not to be used as bribes. It was going to happen anyway, you are just emphasizing that the chore needs to be done before anything else, or something like that. And go through with the consequence. Do what you say you are going to do.

The key to communication is to start gently, then gradually get firmer. Use a polite request first, then if that doesn’t work, use an “I message”-it makes the problem the enemy, not the person, and if either aren’t working, use a firm reminder. Tell them. Keep it firm, calm and simple, and do not lecture. It doesn’t help, and it doesn’t get the point you want to make across. And expect your kids to test your patience. It may get worse before it gets better. But children need to learn responsibility, and know that there are consequences to everything that they do.

Make sure you figure out their feelings when discussing the problems. Don’t start off telling them to shape up. Talk to them and find out why they are making the choices that they are. Then let them know that there are still limits in the situation. Then try to find alternatives. It lets the kids know that you are willing to work with them, and let them help decide the things that they can do better. Put them into actions. Then decide the consequences, and make sure they are willing to put into action, the new alternative. The more you discuss feelings, limits, and alternatives, the less you need to use the consequences. And when your child has shaped up, notice their efforts, and recognize them and thank or praise them for following through with the agreements.

Ways that we discourage our teens is by expecting too little, focusing on their mistakes, expecting too much, and overprotecting. It destroys their self-esteem, and they will shut down, and not want to share anything, because they’ll think that nothing will be good enough. And if they don’t want to share, we can just encourage them to do what’s right. They need our unconditional acceptance of love. They need to know that they are valued for themselves, no matter what they do, and how important they are. Instead of expecting too little, show confidence. Instead of focusing on the mistakes, build on their strengths. Instead of expecting too much, learn to value the good they do. And instead of overprotecting, stimulate their independence, and teach them to do things for themselves.

When we don’t get our needs met, we try to receive it with a negative approach. When people don’t get enough attention, they will do anything to get it. Children especially are driven by needs. But unfortunately, you cannot get enough negative attention to feel good. So wise parents will offer concern, and love freely, and don’t wait till a kid is naughty to give them that attention they need. Encourage positive behavior. Write notes and put your thoughts in writing, because it can have a lasting effect on your child, or anyone. Write about their strengths, what you particularly like about them, and areas where you’ve seen improvement.

I was actually just looking through my messages, and found a couple of super nice texts from people that I truly look up to, and admire. These messages really meant a lot to me, and it’s just nice to know when I’m feeling lonely or sad, that there are people who love and care about me, and believe that I am an amazing person, and that I can be someone who can influence others for the better. I know that whenever nice things are said, it makes me feel so much better about myself, and it’s then easier for me to be nice to others. So I would just invite you to go and write to someone how important they are, and how much they mean to you. I know it has affected me, and it will affect the person you tell or write, for the better. Everyone is special and important, and the Lord loves everyone. YOU are special and important, and the Lord loves YOU. I KNOW that that is true, and don’t let any dumb thoughts get into your head saying otherwise. You are awesome. Especially for reading my blog! Because I know that a lot of it doesn’t make much sense. Sorry I’m not the best writer. So Thanks for reading!!

Oh! And if you want a guide on how to be better parents… Read the Book of Mormon. Seriously. This book gives so many examples of awesome parents, and what they do for their children. There are many examples of fantastic parenting, and fantastic parenting styles, you just gotta look for them!! Starting out, in 1st Nephi Chapter 1 verse 1 it says, “I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father… having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God…” Parents are pretty important if they are mentioned in the first verse in the Book of Mormon. And also, why we do what we do is found in 2nd Nephi 25:26. Look it up, and don’t be lazy, unless you have it memorized- then good for you. But teach your kids, and raise them right, and in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Because it’s the best freakin church ever. Seriously.

Working and Moneys

So this last week, we discussed working and money!  I like the second subject much better. Just kidding, but I realized a lot of things. Work is SO important!! Everyone needs to learn how to work, and are going to need to work at some point in their life. And the earlier we learn to work the better. I know that I am so grateful for work because it has taught me so many lessons, and it reminds me of home. Where I LOVE. We need to work together with our families no matter what our circumstances. Our children need to learn early on how to work, so that they are prepared for the future. Work WITH your kids, even when you just want to do it yourself because you know it’ll be much easier, and faster. Don’t do it for them. And let your kids help even when it’s just going to end up messier. That way they can learn.

The thing I remember most is working at home, listening to music, and just having fun doing my chores while getting work done. Work is supposed to fun!! Make it fun! Whenever working unplug those headphones. I know that whenever I had my earphones in when doing my chores at home, I missed out on EVERYTHING. I was off in my own little world, and normally whenever I had my headphones in, I was upset or angry. Now, looking back, I wish I would have just sucked up my sour attitude, and would have been happy. So unplug, because you’re missing out on family work time.

I know that some of my deepest conversations with my mom have come from unloading the dishwasher together. And I don’t think I will ever forget that conversation. I learned so much about my mom’s dating life, and marriage life, that I had never known before. And I guess, I just didn’t think that at one point, she was where I was. Haha. But it was just so cool to talk to her, and to think if I hadn’t have been willing to do my dishes, or she hadn’t have been willing to help me, I never would have had that experience. So I know that working with our parents, can sometimes lead into the best conversations. Here is a site that talks about the importance of family work, and it just made me realize how important working with the family really was, so read it! http://magazine.byu.edu/?act=view&a=151

                Whenever we were talking about money, we based our conversation on the pamphlet, One for the Money: Guide to Family Finance, by Marvin J. Ashton, which is awesome, and you can read it by going to this link! Click on it. You know you want to. http://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/33293_eng.pdf Heavenly Father wants us to succeed and to be happy. He wants to enjoy our lives and have fun with our families. Heavenly Father loves our families just as much, and even more than we do. Which is why it is so important to lean on Him, and to let Him guide us and our families.

The first point to family finance in this booklet is Paying an Honest Tithing. “Successful financial management in every LDS home begins with the payment of an honest tithe. If our tithing and fast offerings are the first obligations met following the receipt of each paycheck, our commitment to this important gospel principle will be strengthened and the likelihood of financial mismanagement will be reduced. Paying tithing promptly to Him who does not come to check up each month will teach us and our children to be more honest with those physically closer at hand.” And I know that tithing is so important and in Malachia 3:8 it says, “Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.” When we don’t pay our tithing, we are ROBBING God. Not just cheating. ROBBING. That’s crazy! I know how important tithing is, and know that we are blessed whenever we do pay our tithing, and we will be so much happier.

Our bodies are IMPORTANT

So, I just had to write about why it’s important to accept and nurture our bodies for my nutrition class, and decided I would post it! Well first off, our bodies were given to us, and are a gift from God and a place where our Spirits reside. So we should automatically be grateful for that, and know that if we were just given our bodies and spirits from Heavenly Father, that’s pretty important. And since our Heavenly Father has created us, and given us our lives, we are forever in debt to Him, and owe it to Him to take care of our bodies and spirits. Our Bodies are also temples of the Holy Ghost, and we should treat it like we would a real temple by keeping the commandments, and choosing the right. And if we are responsible, and try everything that we can to serve the Lord, and only the Lord, then we will be able to live with our Families Forever in the eternities. And the choices we make now with our bodies, determines our happiness in Heaven. Which is why it is so important to get a body and Spirit, so that we can live with our Families happily, forever.

Elder Holland said, “Be a woman of Christ. Cherish your esteemed place in the sight of God. He needs you. This Church needs you. The world needs you. A woman’s abiding trust in God and unfailing devotion to things of the Spirit have always been an anchor when the wind and the waves of life were fiercest… All of this is to try to tell you how your Father in Heaven feels about you and what He has designed for you to become.” We shouldn’t care about what everyone in this world thinks of us, it only matters what God thinks of us. When we do try to fit in with this world, we not only give up our true selves, but we give away our power as well. And this quote tells us just how powerful we really are, so we need to use our bodies and spirits for good!