Satan is Trying (And hopefully failing. Miserably.)

So this week in class, we focused on communication, and how truly important it is in relationships. When talking to anyone, you should always come into the conversation with a soft tone of voice. When you are angry, upset, stressed, or frustrated at the time, try to either cool down first, or try to say things more sincerely. Especially when talking about conflicts, or problems. And when talking, if the conversation gets too heated, you should either take a break, or just say something that will allow a little bit of stress to leave. That way, you don’t look back and think to yourself, Oh, I shouldn’t have said that, or done that. Because we really do say things that we don’t mean when we are having a hard time, and are upset or angry. I know I say SO many things, and later after thinking about it, I just feel so dumb for saying it, and I know that I shouldn’t have said it. When talking with your spouse, or whoever, you should maybe give up control once in a while. Let your spouse win. Listen intently to their hopes and dreams, and try to work it out. We need to be empathic listeners. When we listen empathically, we just seek to understand, not seek to solve the problem. And most of the time, people just want to talk, and to be understood. Here is a pretty good YouTube video that pretty much teaches us that people just want to be understood. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg

We also discussed in class about how important our families are. And I have such a strong testimony of families because I freakin love my family and wouldn’t want my family to be any different. The family was actually the first organization on this earth, that started with Adam and Eve, and if you think about it, families MUST be that important if it was the first. And honestly, what is our church all about??? Making it back to our Heavenly FATHER, and living with our FAMILIES forever!!! That’s so awesome that this whole church exists to teach and support the family. We can go to church and take the sacrament, go to the temple and perform ordinances and make covenants, but what really matters is what we do at home. Our homes should be the best place, a place where we WANT to go to all the time, because our family is there! And it’s pretty crazy how hard Satan tries to destroy every single family. And he knows exactly how to slowly destroy the family and he is pretty good at it too, unfortunately. He puts those nasty thoughts in our head about our siblings, parents, extended family, and others, and tries to get us to act on those nasty thoughts. And whenever we do go and tease our little sister, or whomever, it is Satan wanting us to do that. Which is why we need to do everything we can, to stop him. We shouldn’t be attacking our family, we should be attacking Satan, because he is the real enemy.

In Ephesians 6:12 it says, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” We just need to realize that Satan is always working to tear the family apart, so we need to always try to make it stronger and be doing those righteous things to help. There’s another good scripture that I’ll end off with that’s in Ephesians 4:31-32. “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Choose the right, and love! My life is WAY better whenever I do those two things.

Losing a Life

So last week we talked mostly about losing someone. We all have a calling in life, and depending on our calling, our life may be long, or cut very short depending on what we accepted in Heaven. There’s a cool story that I actually found on Facebook that says, “A young man, just before leaving on his mission stood in sacrament meeting and bore in essence the following testimony:
Brothers and Sisters, as you know, the past two weeks I've been waiting for my mission call. During the time I was waiting I had a dream. I knew it was not an ordinary dream. I dreamed I was in the pre-existence and awaiting my call to come to earth. I was filled with the same anticipation and excitement that I had before I received my mission call. In my dream I was talking to a friend, and I felt a special closeness to him, even though I've never met him in this life. As we talked a messenger came and gave me a letter. I knew it was my call to go to earth. In great excitement my friend and I opened the letter. I gave it to him and asked him to read it aloud. It said: "You've been called to earth in a special time and to a special land. You will be born to the true church and you will have the priesthood of God in your home. You will born into a land of plenty, in a land of freedom. You will go to earth in the United States of America."
My friend and I rejoiced as we read my call, and while we were rejoicing the messenger returned. This time he had a letter for my friend. We knew it was his call to earth. My friend gave me the letter to read aloud. His letter said: "You've been called to go to the earth in circumstances of poverty and strife. You will not be raised in the true church. Many hardships will attend your life. Your land will be fraught with political and social difficulties - which will hinder the work of the Lord. You will be born in Costa Rica."
We wept, my friend and I, as we read his call. And my friend looked at me with tears in his eyes, and said, "When we are down on earth, you in your choice land and me in Costa Rica, my friend, please come and find me."
This young missionary, with tears in his eyes, said, "Brothers and Sisters, I have received my mission call. I am going to Costa Rica."
There is a sequel to the story. About a year after the sacrament meeting, the bishop received a letter from the missionary in Costa Rica. The letter had one sheet of paper in it and on that sheet written in capital letters were four words:
I FOUND MY FRIEND.”

I loved this because I know that we are called into our circumstances, before we come down to earth and that everyone comes down to earth for a purpose. But in class, we were discussing how some peoples purpose to come to earth is to die. Which I thought was very interesting, but I can see now how that would make sense. When we lose someone, we gain a better understanding of what Heavenly Father went through (and also what Christ went through). But mostly what our Heavenly Father experienced, whenever he watched Christ suffer and die. I think Heavenly Father went through the most pain, watching his own Son be mocked, whipped, persecuted, and just had to witness Him being treated so unfairly. And I think this was so hard for Him because Heavenly Father had the power to stop everything, but He didn’t, because He knew Christ’s purpose for coming to earth. And even Christ pleaded in Luke 22:42, Heavenly Father knew that Christ had to suffer, and die. For me, and for you. And just to refresh, when Christ was performing the atonement, suffering, he states “Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him. And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.”

And I just have so much respect for Heavenly Father for the being the amazing parent that He is.  Of course just being Christ’s father is awesome, but He had to watch His own son suffer and die-having the power to stop it, but restraining, so that we could all benefit. I have not been through exactly what Heavenly Father has in terms of losing a child, but I am sure that so many people know what that is like, and have lost someone very close to them. But I know, despite how difficult it is, that those who die, knew that before they came to earth, and they chose to take on that challenge in this life. And dang, they must be SO blessed for it. And luckily, parents have the privilege to raise their kids in the Millennium if they are righteous and keep their covenants with the Lord. I know that when we lose someone, we do gain a better understanding of many things, but mostly an understanding of what our Heavenly Father went through. And I just love both Christ and my Heavenly Father for everything that they do, and go through to make everyone happy, and able to live with them again.

Be Committed and Loyal

So this week, we talked about marriage, and children, and intimacy inside marriage, and also intimacy that can happen outside of marriage if you’re not careful. And after talking about it, this whole week, staying true to your spouse is one of the most important things you can do when married. I read a document talking about marriage and intimacy and I pretty much loved everything that it said. So I’ll probably just be quoting from the document because it was just awesome. “President Spencer W. Kimball (1962) taught that, “Marriage presupposes total allegiance and total fidelity.” We marry with the understanding that we will give ourselves completely to our spouse and that any divergence is sin. Infidelity is defined as the opposite of faithfulness. We show our faithfulness to God by loving him with all our heart, might, mind, and strength (D&C 4:2). We show fidelity to our spouse in the same ways. Indeed, our spouse is the only other things besides God who we are commanded to love with all our heart. We are commanded to love our spouse with all our heart and cleave unto none else (D&C 42:22).”

Even though I’m not married, I can testify that what President Kimball said is so true, by looking at the examples of my parents, grandparents, siblings, and other peoples relationships. Theres a cool story that I want to share from what I read that says, “Once there were three men each trying to secure a job as a teamster (wagon driver). The freight company only wanted to have the very best drivers for their wagons, so they gave each potential driver a test. The test was to drive a wagon up a steep mountain road where one side of the road was a cliff. The first driver, eager to show his superior skills as a driver, drove the wagon up the road with the wheel of the wagon right on the edge of the cliff. The second driver was even more impressive; with great skill and dexterity he managed to drive the wagon up the road with half the wagon wheel teetering over the edge of the cliff! The third driver was not so talented and drove the wagon as far from the cliff as possible. Who got the job? The third driver, of course. With wagons as well as with marriages, the moral of the story is the same: If our cargo is truly precious (and it is), we will drive our wagon as far from the cliff as possible.”

And I loved this story and the analogy of marriage that it had. And it could pretty much symbolize anything, but I like how it makes you think of yourself, and ask, Where do you drive? We can’t just be riding the line, or even close to it, because the closer we are to it, the closer we are to falling off that edge. And once you fall, it’s a long ways down, and most likely a long journey, climbing back up. This next story I found very interesting, but it put in perspective, just how important it is to know where you drive and to set a standard as to how close to the line you will ride.

“Two young, recently married LDS men were hired as social workers at a mental health agency. In their positions, Ross and Devin were often teamed up with a female case worker when making home visits to some clients. Ross and his wife had decided early on in their marriage that it was generally a bad idea to travel alone in a car with someone of the opposite sex and that this should be avoided whenever possible. Ross struggled to find explanations for not wanting to ride in the same car as the co-worker on these appointments. After all, how do you say, “Um, I don’t want to ride together because we might end up having an affair”? Ross awkwardly found excuses to drive his own car whenever possible. Devin was also in the same situation but felt like riding together in the same car as the female co-workers was just part of the job. He felt that this was all professional and he loved his wife deeply and was therefore safe.

After several months, Devin approached Ross in private, hung his head and said, “I don’t want you to think badly of me, but I think I’m falling in love with Savannah.” Savannah was one of the co-workers who was many years older than Devin and was a single, divorced mother. How does a happily-married, faithful priesthood holder fall in love with a divorced single mother many years his senior? It happens the same way that we fall in love with our spouse in the first place. We spend time together, we share our hopes and dreams together, and we discuss our problems and disappointments together. All of these things build emotional intimacy, and emotional intimacy forms part of the foundation of a loving relationship.

In the end, Devin was able to save his marriage after months of pain for both him and his wife and after years of rebuilding trust. So, what is worse? Ross’s awkward moments? Or Devin’s months and years of pain and problems? If our cargo is truly precious, it is best to drive our wagon as far away from the edge as possible.”

I loved this story and how it teaches you to set boundaries as to how close you get to the edge. Once you get married, set boundaries between friends, and how much time you’ll spend away from your spouse, or even when dating or when you’re engaged, decide what you’re going to do to keep your relationship as strong as possible. Be committed to each other once you start dating so that it will be a habit once married. If you don’t set boundaries as a couple, and decide what you are going to do, and how you aren’t going to pass those boundaries, then it will be easier to get closer and closer to the edge, and then the next thing you know, you’ve crossed the line, and lost that one you held so dear. And I love this last quote by President Hinckley, and know that if we are faithful and try everything we can in our power to stay true to our companion, the Lord will bless us, and we will be so much happier.

“Determine that there will never be anything that will come between you that will disrupt your marriage. Make it work. Resolve to make it work. There is far too much of divorce, wherein hearts are broken and sometimes lives are destroyed. Be fiercely loyal one to another.”

Marriage!

So this week in class we talked about marriage. And of course I, having never experienced it, learned a lot!! We first talked about all the changes that we have to go through whenever we get married. When you’re single, you are only thinking about yourself. What you’re going to eat, what you’re going to buy, what you’re going to do with your time. You only have to think about yourself. That’s why it is so hard for some people to get married because now it’s not all about you, you have yourself AND someone else to think about. You have to distribute certain responsibilities between you and your spouse, budget better, make decisions together, balance out schedules, change lifestyles, change social connections and circles, establish family boundaries, and most importantly, accommodate each other. When we get married and have to live with someone, accommodation is the most important factor in a healthy marriage. You can’t just change other people and I think a lot of the times that is what we all try to do. We try to tell someone what they can do better, or what their faults are, but in the end, it doesn't do much because unless they are willing to change themselves, they don’t change.

No matter how much we want that change to happen, it’s up to them to make that change. And when people have faults, they know what their faults are, and know what they need to change. It’s probably just hard for them, or they have no motivation to change. Trying to tell someone every time they do something wrong in a relationship is like putting a dog collar on them, and every time you don’t like what they are doing, you shock them. How annoying would that be? Yes of course, it eventually gets the job done with dogs, but in relationships, that would just get annoying, and so annoying to the extent of breaking up, or even just giving up. And you want to love the other person, not get annoyed by everything they try to correct you on. Marital happiness is definitely not based on the success of being able to change each other. It is based on compromising, cooperating, and accommodating. We have to help each other until both our needs are met.

And going along with that, we need to be thankful. For everything. What would happen if we thanked our significant other, or showed our appreciation for them, ALL THE TIME? I bet a lot of things would change. One thing that I have noticed whenever I am thanking someone, is once I start, I just keep on thinking of more things I am grateful for. So my mind is just opened up to everything I should be appreciative of, and I realize just how many blessings I have. And let me tell you, it’s a lot. I think that we also don’t take our blessings for granted. If we realize how much we have, it’s harder to be selfish, and harder to think about what we don’t have. We value it a lot more after being thankful, because we actually realize what we have, and how blessed we really are. And honestly, people want to be thanked. Everyone wants to hear that they are appreciated, or that they are loved. Once they know that what they are doing is a good thing, they can be more confident in what they do and also just more confident in themselves.

I think a lot of the times we compare ourselves with other people, and how much we may have, or don’t have, in relation to them. We also tend to compare our weaknesses with other peoples strengths. Which doesn't make sense at all, but if you think about that, it’s so true. I compare myself and my situations with other people all the time. But I really just need to stop comparing all together, because in the end it only makes me feel worse about myself. And we talked in class how couples in particular, compare their lives, with other couples. Some couples have it easy, and others have a difficult time at first. But there is an advantage to having nothing, or having a hard time- you have to WORK. Together. You have to make the effort to labor together to get what you want. And after knowing how to work, you are more humble for what you earned, and it teaches you to be careful with what you have. So should you be jealous of people who have it easy? Absolutely not. If you think about it, no one has a great marriage that hasn't had to work hard for it. But when it looks like other people have it easy, there is almost always a problem that they are dealing with, that you just don’t know about. So we can’t just judge others because it looks like they have it all, and that it all comes easily. We have no idea what they are going through, or what they are actually dealing with, in their lives. So just worry about yourself and your spouse, be grateful for what you have by thanking others often, and love others just the way they are.

Dating!!

So I absolutely LOVED this week’s topic in class, and loved the points brought up about dating!! There were so many interesting thoughts and I learned so much!! And to start off, I love dating! It’s pretty much the awesomest. But there are a lot of problems with people and dating going on right now, it’s kinda crazy. We used to date all the time, but now dating isn’t taken so seriously, and many people have either given up on dating, or just don’t want to. What is dating, or rather, what is a date?? It is a paired off, planned, and paid for event. It’s a pretty cool concept. So the first thing to do, maybe before even going on a date, you should get to know the other person a little. And then, once you know that person, and you’ve been on dates and spent time with them, you gotta kinda decide if you want to date them. And it’s funny because normally (especially up here in Idaho) people think that there is a time frame of when a person should get married. But no, the Lord knows us, and he knows our future spouse, and there is a time and place for everything. And He knows when that time is, so we just need to be patient with Him, others, and ourselves. But something else that is interesting to think about is why you date someone. I think most of the time, we date for “Mate Selection”. We are looking for that one person to come along and sweep us off our feet. But that’s not WHY we date. Dating isn’t all about finding that one person, its more about the experience and the lessons you learn, and the things you not only find out about others, but that you find out about yourself as well. Dating refines people and allows us to try new things and adapt to new situations. We practice for when we DO find that person, and we demonstrate what we are capable of doing. But with that being said, dating is also pretty serious.

Whenever we date someone exclusively, we should be committed to them, and should only focus on them, because dating is a commitment. You should never date anyone exclusively unless you are ready for marriage. Because let’s be honest, dating leads to marriage. But the most important part of dating is knowing someone. Which usually takes about 3 months, and it requires 3 words. Talk, Time, and Togetherness. With talking, you get a mutual disclosure and should feel comfortable talking about anything, like your feelings, hopes, dreams, goals, family, background, and so much more than just the everyday conversations. When you are together, you should be engaging in a variety of different activities, and actually it’s through togetherness, that you truly get to know someone. Time is also very important. You have to be willing to drop whatever it is you’re doing, make time, and serve someone else. And if you truly want to know someone, talk, be together, and spend time with them.

                Now I want to tell you about the Relationship Attachment Model which is so awesome, so don’t fall asleep! The first step to being in a relationship is KNOWING someone. You gotta talk, be together, and spend time with each other, like I said earlier. The second step is TRUSTING someone. You have to be willing to share things that you don’t normally share, or say things that you don’t normally say to that certain person. When you trust someone, you forget about yourself and open up to others. The third step is RELYING on someone. You have to put more strength in the other person. You have to be willing to not only trust them with the things that matter to you, but believe in them, and put your trust IN them. The third step is COMMITTING to someone. You have to be willing to not worry about anyone else, and just stay true to that one person. You are ruling everyone else out of the picture, and are staying true, even if there are others out there. And they need to know that you are committed. The last step is TOUCHING someone. And there is a reason its last. Touch is like glue- once you get it, you don’t want it to leave or stop. It should always be last because touching messes with our brains which is affected by our emotional state. Have you ever noticed that when you’re happy, everyone and everything becomes happy as well? Well of course not everything, but our views change when our emotions change. We just don’t see much of anything else when our emotions control us. Well anyways, those are some pretty cool things that I learned this week, and I’m so grateful that I took this class because I am learning so much, and there’s so many things I want to talk more about, but that would just take forever. But anyways, good things to just think about, and ask myself.