Tender Mercies Tonight

Alright, I have just had the best night ever!! I am so freakin blessed, it’s not even funny. But to start off, babies are definitely little miracles that just prove that there is a God, and that He knows EXACTLY what He is doing. My little niece, Celeste Lyn Smith (Say that ten times really fast) was born today and as I went to visit, it’s just amazing what Heavenly Father allows us women to do and accomplish. And someday, I hope to have a little one to call my own, with the man of my life. Babies are just amazing and are truly a gift from God. As parents, we are loaned these precious, sweet little things, to raise while they live here on earth, and then we return them back to our Heavenly Father. It’s just so amazing to think about!! Ok, and the other thing is too- my brother is the sweetest!! First off, I was stressing out, not really wanting to hurry and pack for Utah, because we are coming back in two days anyways, so I decided that I would just stay here in Idaho. So Nate, who was really excited to go down, and wanting me to pick up the pace packing, just decided to stay here with me, after telling him of my plan. And I didn't even have to try to persuade him, he just trusted me, and decided to do whatever I wanted. And then when I went over to borrow the car from him-which he willingly gave up, I got a present from him!! Of course my birthday was last week, but how nice is that?? When I opened up my new pair of swim shorts which miraculously fit perfectly, and three new pairs of earrings, I couldn't help but just cry. I am so loved, and I just have the best brother ever. Who else’s brother plans months ahead for their sister’s birthday, and gets them a present?? Probably not very many.

My family just in general is awesome!! I don't think any family is more perfect for me, than my own. Everyone in my family is so awesome, and the awesomeness just keeps coming!! It’s crazy to think that my family started out as just 10 people, and is now up to 18 people!!And EVERY SINGLE person is special, and just brings so much fun and happiness into our family. So then, as it’s the semester, I took my last final today, hoping to get at least a 64 on my Nutrition test, just to keep my B in the class. Well, I just got home, and looked online, and I got an 83%!!And just to inform you, the last 3 tests I got a 64, 63.5, and then a 64.5. So I was pretty worried. But I passed with an 83! Of course I studied for the past 2-3 hours for it, but I just know right now that I am so blessed. And I just had to write my experiences tonight down. I know that Heavenly Father answers prayers, and He knows exactly what I need, exactly when I need them. And tonight was just proof of that, and that He loves me. And I love Him, and my family so much. They are all so awesome and I can’t wait to see all of them!!

And here is a story I just read that is just a good story.


Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same
hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an
hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from
his lungs.

His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on
his back.

The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their
homes, their jobs, their involvement in the
military service, where they had been on
vacation..

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the
window could sit up, he would pass the time by
describing to his roommate all the things he could
see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those
one hour periods where his world would be
broadened and enlivened by all the activity and
colour of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.Ducks and swans played on the water while
children sailed their model boats. Young lovers
walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every colour
and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen
in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in
exquisite details, the man on the other side of
the room would close his eyes and imagine this
picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window
described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not hear the band -
he could see it in his mind's eye as the
gentleman by the window portrayed it with
descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring
water for their baths only to find the lifeless body
of the man by the window, who had died
peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the hospital
attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man
asked if he could be moved next to the window.
The nurse was happy to make the switch, and
after making sure he was comfortable, she left
him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one
elbow to take his first look at the real world
outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window
besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have
compelled his deceased roommate who had
described such wonderful things outside this
window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and
could not even see the wall.

She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage
you.'

There is tremendous happiness in making others
happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness
when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all the things
you have that money can't buy.
'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The
Present .

Get Married and Stay that Way!

When parents say that it’s better for them to divorce instead of staying together, it’s actually worse for the kids. But often times, after divorce, they talk badly about each other, and start to hate each other because of reasons of getting custody for the kids. 70% of people in the US believe that 2 years after divorce realize that they made a mistake, and actually regret that they didn’t save their marriage. 70% also remarry within 2 years. Many people actually divorce out of passion, which sounds weird, but makes sense when you think about how people marry out of passion. But, most likely in all cases, you’ll probably have harder challenges after divorce. Which is why divorce can be so hard for everyone! Especially the children. Boys need that father figure, and daughters need a mother. Generally the boys learn from their father how to make money and be responsible, and the girls learn what they need to know about being a future mother.

Elder Faust in a talk he gave, mentioned some reasons for divorce, which are prolonged or abusive wrong actions, and addiction without effort to get help, or if they are just not doing things conducive to the Spirit. In D&C 50:23, it says, “And that which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness.” And it is evil to know that something is wrong, and to not do anything about it. And in Matt. 18:15-17, it says, “But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” I would just like to encourage everyone, no matter what you are going through to watch this video by Dallin H. Oaks because it’s awesome! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQ1yLFIEVNo Oh and also!! This is like the cutest video ever about what a marriage SHOULD be like. It’s just touching!! And I know that if we strive to keep our marriage together, and focus it on Christ and our spouse, we will be blessed and we have that opportunity to live our families forever!!! Which is awesome!! Ok, here’s the awesome video! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdCPMwhvJ88

Parents are ESSENTIAL!!!

The way that we parent our kids, affects both the parents and the children. If we spend time with our children, and teach them, we get to know our children, and learn of their wants, needs, goals, and dreams. When parents don’t parent their own kids, they lose that opportunity to truly know and love their own kids. They also don’t learn how to be good parents, and what is needed to know how to be a good parent. They also won’t realize the value of parenting. The Lord allows us to be parents for a reason. We learn and grow so much from teaching, and watching our children grow up, and learn themselves. We learn to love and experience true joy through children. And the Lord is kind and brave enough to lend us HIS children, so that we can raise them and teach them. Children need parents. They need someone to love them, and they need someone to talk to, lean on, and to love.

What are some things that our parents have taught us? What are some experiences that we have gone through with our parents? Now what if our parents were just gone, and we were raised by babysitters, siblings, or nannies? The purposes of parenting is to protect our children, and prepare them to survive and thrive in the world that we live in. We teach our kids to be in the world, but not of the world. If we are not actively participating in their lives, we cannot do that. We should be interested in helping to define our children’s character. 4 Characteristics that all children need to have are: Courage, responsibility, cooperation, and respect. Courage is needed for self-confidence, and its doing the right thing even when you’re scared. Model how to be respectful, because if we want them to treat us with love and respect, then we have to treat them with that same amount.

There are 5 major goals that all children, especially teens strive for. Belonging, power, protection, withdrawal, and challenge. Kids need contact, and to feel belonged. This isn’t a want, it’s a need, and it’s critical. When kids help, they gain a sense of belonging, which everyone wants. And everyone wants to feel like they can fit in, and are loved. Teach them how to contribute, and to cooperate. Both of these make us feel valuable. And little kids especially just LOVE to help work, cook, and clean. It also prepares them to be good parents if we actually let them help, and be responsible.

Give your children responsibility early so that they can conquer harder things later on in life. Responsibility=choice + consequences. People who take responsibility for their actions learn and grow from their mistakes. As parents, we shouldn’t interfere with the consequences our children deserve, and may have agreed on. Love your kids enough to let them have consequences without interfering, so that they can learn. When we put ourselves in our teen’s service and do not require them to accept responsibility for their own behavior, we are not respecting their ability to handle confrontation and stand on their own two feet. We also cannot be passive parents which are uninvolved parents who want to be more of a buddy or friend to their child, more than an actual parent. They just want the child’s approval, and that leads the kids to think that since their parents will do anything for them, they don’t have to listen. If we are passive parents, and don’t give our children any responsibility, nothing happens, and we are even hurting our child.

When giving your children consequences, put the consequence in the form of a choice. But make sure they are choices that you can live with. Ask them their opinions as to what the consequences should be, and let them decide. And make sure the consequence is logically connected to their wrong actions. There are two ways to give a choice. Give an, either/or choice. This works when wanting your kids to stop doing something. When you want kids to start doing something, give them a when/then choice. But these are not to be used as bribes. It was going to happen anyway, you are just emphasizing that the chore needs to be done before anything else, or something like that. And go through with the consequence. Do what you say you are going to do.

The key to communication is to start gently, then gradually get firmer. Use a polite request first, then if that doesn’t work, use an “I message”-it makes the problem the enemy, not the person, and if either aren’t working, use a firm reminder. Tell them. Keep it firm, calm and simple, and do not lecture. It doesn’t help, and it doesn’t get the point you want to make across. And expect your kids to test your patience. It may get worse before it gets better. But children need to learn responsibility, and know that there are consequences to everything that they do.

Make sure you figure out their feelings when discussing the problems. Don’t start off telling them to shape up. Talk to them and find out why they are making the choices that they are. Then let them know that there are still limits in the situation. Then try to find alternatives. It lets the kids know that you are willing to work with them, and let them help decide the things that they can do better. Put them into actions. Then decide the consequences, and make sure they are willing to put into action, the new alternative. The more you discuss feelings, limits, and alternatives, the less you need to use the consequences. And when your child has shaped up, notice their efforts, and recognize them and thank or praise them for following through with the agreements.

Ways that we discourage our teens is by expecting too little, focusing on their mistakes, expecting too much, and overprotecting. It destroys their self-esteem, and they will shut down, and not want to share anything, because they’ll think that nothing will be good enough. And if they don’t want to share, we can just encourage them to do what’s right. They need our unconditional acceptance of love. They need to know that they are valued for themselves, no matter what they do, and how important they are. Instead of expecting too little, show confidence. Instead of focusing on the mistakes, build on their strengths. Instead of expecting too much, learn to value the good they do. And instead of overprotecting, stimulate their independence, and teach them to do things for themselves.

When we don’t get our needs met, we try to receive it with a negative approach. When people don’t get enough attention, they will do anything to get it. Children especially are driven by needs. But unfortunately, you cannot get enough negative attention to feel good. So wise parents will offer concern, and love freely, and don’t wait till a kid is naughty to give them that attention they need. Encourage positive behavior. Write notes and put your thoughts in writing, because it can have a lasting effect on your child, or anyone. Write about their strengths, what you particularly like about them, and areas where you’ve seen improvement.

I was actually just looking through my messages, and found a couple of super nice texts from people that I truly look up to, and admire. These messages really meant a lot to me, and it’s just nice to know when I’m feeling lonely or sad, that there are people who love and care about me, and believe that I am an amazing person, and that I can be someone who can influence others for the better. I know that whenever nice things are said, it makes me feel so much better about myself, and it’s then easier for me to be nice to others. So I would just invite you to go and write to someone how important they are, and how much they mean to you. I know it has affected me, and it will affect the person you tell or write, for the better. Everyone is special and important, and the Lord loves everyone. YOU are special and important, and the Lord loves YOU. I KNOW that that is true, and don’t let any dumb thoughts get into your head saying otherwise. You are awesome. Especially for reading my blog! Because I know that a lot of it doesn’t make much sense. Sorry I’m not the best writer. So Thanks for reading!!

Oh! And if you want a guide on how to be better parents… Read the Book of Mormon. Seriously. This book gives so many examples of awesome parents, and what they do for their children. There are many examples of fantastic parenting, and fantastic parenting styles, you just gotta look for them!! Starting out, in 1st Nephi Chapter 1 verse 1 it says, “I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father… having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God…” Parents are pretty important if they are mentioned in the first verse in the Book of Mormon. And also, why we do what we do is found in 2nd Nephi 25:26. Look it up, and don’t be lazy, unless you have it memorized- then good for you. But teach your kids, and raise them right, and in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Because it’s the best freakin church ever. Seriously.

Working and Moneys

So this last week, we discussed working and money!  I like the second subject much better. Just kidding, but I realized a lot of things. Work is SO important!! Everyone needs to learn how to work, and are going to need to work at some point in their life. And the earlier we learn to work the better. I know that I am so grateful for work because it has taught me so many lessons, and it reminds me of home. Where I LOVE. We need to work together with our families no matter what our circumstances. Our children need to learn early on how to work, so that they are prepared for the future. Work WITH your kids, even when you just want to do it yourself because you know it’ll be much easier, and faster. Don’t do it for them. And let your kids help even when it’s just going to end up messier. That way they can learn.

The thing I remember most is working at home, listening to music, and just having fun doing my chores while getting work done. Work is supposed to fun!! Make it fun! Whenever working unplug those headphones. I know that whenever I had my earphones in when doing my chores at home, I missed out on EVERYTHING. I was off in my own little world, and normally whenever I had my headphones in, I was upset or angry. Now, looking back, I wish I would have just sucked up my sour attitude, and would have been happy. So unplug, because you’re missing out on family work time.

I know that some of my deepest conversations with my mom have come from unloading the dishwasher together. And I don’t think I will ever forget that conversation. I learned so much about my mom’s dating life, and marriage life, that I had never known before. And I guess, I just didn’t think that at one point, she was where I was. Haha. But it was just so cool to talk to her, and to think if I hadn’t have been willing to do my dishes, or she hadn’t have been willing to help me, I never would have had that experience. So I know that working with our parents, can sometimes lead into the best conversations. Here is a site that talks about the importance of family work, and it just made me realize how important working with the family really was, so read it! http://magazine.byu.edu/?act=view&a=151

                Whenever we were talking about money, we based our conversation on the pamphlet, One for the Money: Guide to Family Finance, by Marvin J. Ashton, which is awesome, and you can read it by going to this link! Click on it. You know you want to. http://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/33293_eng.pdf Heavenly Father wants us to succeed and to be happy. He wants to enjoy our lives and have fun with our families. Heavenly Father loves our families just as much, and even more than we do. Which is why it is so important to lean on Him, and to let Him guide us and our families.

The first point to family finance in this booklet is Paying an Honest Tithing. “Successful financial management in every LDS home begins with the payment of an honest tithe. If our tithing and fast offerings are the first obligations met following the receipt of each paycheck, our commitment to this important gospel principle will be strengthened and the likelihood of financial mismanagement will be reduced. Paying tithing promptly to Him who does not come to check up each month will teach us and our children to be more honest with those physically closer at hand.” And I know that tithing is so important and in Malachia 3:8 it says, “Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.” When we don’t pay our tithing, we are ROBBING God. Not just cheating. ROBBING. That’s crazy! I know how important tithing is, and know that we are blessed whenever we do pay our tithing, and we will be so much happier.

Our bodies are IMPORTANT

So, I just had to write about why it’s important to accept and nurture our bodies for my nutrition class, and decided I would post it! Well first off, our bodies were given to us, and are a gift from God and a place where our Spirits reside. So we should automatically be grateful for that, and know that if we were just given our bodies and spirits from Heavenly Father, that’s pretty important. And since our Heavenly Father has created us, and given us our lives, we are forever in debt to Him, and owe it to Him to take care of our bodies and spirits. Our Bodies are also temples of the Holy Ghost, and we should treat it like we would a real temple by keeping the commandments, and choosing the right. And if we are responsible, and try everything that we can to serve the Lord, and only the Lord, then we will be able to live with our Families Forever in the eternities. And the choices we make now with our bodies, determines our happiness in Heaven. Which is why it is so important to get a body and Spirit, so that we can live with our Families happily, forever.

Elder Holland said, “Be a woman of Christ. Cherish your esteemed place in the sight of God. He needs you. This Church needs you. The world needs you. A woman’s abiding trust in God and unfailing devotion to things of the Spirit have always been an anchor when the wind and the waves of life were fiercest… All of this is to try to tell you how your Father in Heaven feels about you and what He has designed for you to become.” We shouldn’t care about what everyone in this world thinks of us, it only matters what God thinks of us. When we do try to fit in with this world, we not only give up our true selves, but we give away our power as well. And this quote tells us just how powerful we really are, so we need to use our bodies and spirits for good! 

Satan is Trying (And hopefully failing. Miserably.)

So this week in class, we focused on communication, and how truly important it is in relationships. When talking to anyone, you should always come into the conversation with a soft tone of voice. When you are angry, upset, stressed, or frustrated at the time, try to either cool down first, or try to say things more sincerely. Especially when talking about conflicts, or problems. And when talking, if the conversation gets too heated, you should either take a break, or just say something that will allow a little bit of stress to leave. That way, you don’t look back and think to yourself, Oh, I shouldn’t have said that, or done that. Because we really do say things that we don’t mean when we are having a hard time, and are upset or angry. I know I say SO many things, and later after thinking about it, I just feel so dumb for saying it, and I know that I shouldn’t have said it. When talking with your spouse, or whoever, you should maybe give up control once in a while. Let your spouse win. Listen intently to their hopes and dreams, and try to work it out. We need to be empathic listeners. When we listen empathically, we just seek to understand, not seek to solve the problem. And most of the time, people just want to talk, and to be understood. Here is a pretty good YouTube video that pretty much teaches us that people just want to be understood. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg

We also discussed in class about how important our families are. And I have such a strong testimony of families because I freakin love my family and wouldn’t want my family to be any different. The family was actually the first organization on this earth, that started with Adam and Eve, and if you think about it, families MUST be that important if it was the first. And honestly, what is our church all about??? Making it back to our Heavenly FATHER, and living with our FAMILIES forever!!! That’s so awesome that this whole church exists to teach and support the family. We can go to church and take the sacrament, go to the temple and perform ordinances and make covenants, but what really matters is what we do at home. Our homes should be the best place, a place where we WANT to go to all the time, because our family is there! And it’s pretty crazy how hard Satan tries to destroy every single family. And he knows exactly how to slowly destroy the family and he is pretty good at it too, unfortunately. He puts those nasty thoughts in our head about our siblings, parents, extended family, and others, and tries to get us to act on those nasty thoughts. And whenever we do go and tease our little sister, or whomever, it is Satan wanting us to do that. Which is why we need to do everything we can, to stop him. We shouldn’t be attacking our family, we should be attacking Satan, because he is the real enemy.

In Ephesians 6:12 it says, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” We just need to realize that Satan is always working to tear the family apart, so we need to always try to make it stronger and be doing those righteous things to help. There’s another good scripture that I’ll end off with that’s in Ephesians 4:31-32. “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Choose the right, and love! My life is WAY better whenever I do those two things.

Losing a Life

So last week we talked mostly about losing someone. We all have a calling in life, and depending on our calling, our life may be long, or cut very short depending on what we accepted in Heaven. There’s a cool story that I actually found on Facebook that says, “A young man, just before leaving on his mission stood in sacrament meeting and bore in essence the following testimony:
Brothers and Sisters, as you know, the past two weeks I've been waiting for my mission call. During the time I was waiting I had a dream. I knew it was not an ordinary dream. I dreamed I was in the pre-existence and awaiting my call to come to earth. I was filled with the same anticipation and excitement that I had before I received my mission call. In my dream I was talking to a friend, and I felt a special closeness to him, even though I've never met him in this life. As we talked a messenger came and gave me a letter. I knew it was my call to go to earth. In great excitement my friend and I opened the letter. I gave it to him and asked him to read it aloud. It said: "You've been called to earth in a special time and to a special land. You will be born to the true church and you will have the priesthood of God in your home. You will born into a land of plenty, in a land of freedom. You will go to earth in the United States of America."
My friend and I rejoiced as we read my call, and while we were rejoicing the messenger returned. This time he had a letter for my friend. We knew it was his call to earth. My friend gave me the letter to read aloud. His letter said: "You've been called to go to the earth in circumstances of poverty and strife. You will not be raised in the true church. Many hardships will attend your life. Your land will be fraught with political and social difficulties - which will hinder the work of the Lord. You will be born in Costa Rica."
We wept, my friend and I, as we read his call. And my friend looked at me with tears in his eyes, and said, "When we are down on earth, you in your choice land and me in Costa Rica, my friend, please come and find me."
This young missionary, with tears in his eyes, said, "Brothers and Sisters, I have received my mission call. I am going to Costa Rica."
There is a sequel to the story. About a year after the sacrament meeting, the bishop received a letter from the missionary in Costa Rica. The letter had one sheet of paper in it and on that sheet written in capital letters were four words:
I FOUND MY FRIEND.”

I loved this because I know that we are called into our circumstances, before we come down to earth and that everyone comes down to earth for a purpose. But in class, we were discussing how some peoples purpose to come to earth is to die. Which I thought was very interesting, but I can see now how that would make sense. When we lose someone, we gain a better understanding of what Heavenly Father went through (and also what Christ went through). But mostly what our Heavenly Father experienced, whenever he watched Christ suffer and die. I think Heavenly Father went through the most pain, watching his own Son be mocked, whipped, persecuted, and just had to witness Him being treated so unfairly. And I think this was so hard for Him because Heavenly Father had the power to stop everything, but He didn’t, because He knew Christ’s purpose for coming to earth. And even Christ pleaded in Luke 22:42, Heavenly Father knew that Christ had to suffer, and die. For me, and for you. And just to refresh, when Christ was performing the atonement, suffering, he states “Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him. And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.”

And I just have so much respect for Heavenly Father for the being the amazing parent that He is.  Of course just being Christ’s father is awesome, but He had to watch His own son suffer and die-having the power to stop it, but restraining, so that we could all benefit. I have not been through exactly what Heavenly Father has in terms of losing a child, but I am sure that so many people know what that is like, and have lost someone very close to them. But I know, despite how difficult it is, that those who die, knew that before they came to earth, and they chose to take on that challenge in this life. And dang, they must be SO blessed for it. And luckily, parents have the privilege to raise their kids in the Millennium if they are righteous and keep their covenants with the Lord. I know that when we lose someone, we do gain a better understanding of many things, but mostly an understanding of what our Heavenly Father went through. And I just love both Christ and my Heavenly Father for everything that they do, and go through to make everyone happy, and able to live with them again.