So, I'm just a little obsessed... What Are Words

Just Some Great Stuff About Family Theory

Ideas about human families can come from many sources, including scientific disciplines concerned with the study of entities that are not families, as well as personal experiences with our own families. No potential source should be dismissed, although we should be aware that those sources selected likely will affect key features of the theory that emerges. Most of the family theories that exist today draw on ideas from external sources. Family theories are not insulated sets of ideas, and family theorists do not merely talk to each other about family ideas. For a theory to be about families, there must be at least one family concept in the theory. We cannot decide what a family concept is, however, unless we first decide what a family is. Let us, therefore, begin by thinking of a family as a social group. We need to identify the distinguishing features of this group. Following are some of the major ways that families differ from such groups as associations of coworkers and networks of close friends.

1. Families last for a considerably longer period of time than do most other social groups.

Of course, some relationships in families are not enduring. Marriages can be broken by divorce or death fairly soon after they are formed. Yet we normally think of our own families as lasting throughout our lifetimes. We actually are born into a family that already exists. Our parents remain parents even after we become adults. We add members to the family when we marry and become parents. Our siblings remain siblings throughout our lifetimes. Although it is possible for coworkers and close friends to maintain relationships for long periods of time, families are the only groups that virtually require lifetime membership, even though some members are added and subtracted along the way. Belonging to a family is involuntary in the sense that we do not choose which parents are going to give birth to us. Other groups tend to be much more voluntary, in that we have some choice about joining them in the first place.

2. Families are intergenerational.

Through the act of giving birth, families include people who are related as parents and children. If elders live long enough, we have ties to grandparents, and maybe even to great-grandparents and great-great-grandparents. At some point, we ordinarily have living members of both older and younger generations, and we may eventually become grandparents or great-grandparents ourselves. Other kinds of groups may include people with fairly large age differences, but families are the only groups that virtually guarantee this.

The fact that the human infant at birth is a helpless creature and cannot approach self-sufficiency for almost 20 years means that the intergenerational bond is particularly crucial to human survival. Every child needs some sort of caretaker and caregiver, whether it is a biological parent, an adoptive or foster parent, or somebody else who takes the responsibility for providing nurturance during the early years of life. It is no accident that our image of family includes an intergenerational component.

3. Families contain both biological and affinal (e.g., legal, common law) relationships between members.

It is the biological act of birth that creates the fundamental family tie. This act also means that we share at least some inherited characteristics or proclivities with family members that are directly or indirectly related to us by birth. At least until humans perfect the cloning of adults, and perhaps even then, the process of becoming a person will be based to some degree on biology. Families are in the business of producing and sustaining persons and personhood. Even though work groups or friendship groups may sometimes contain biologically related members, such groups tend to have other purposes.

There is also a social side to this process of creating persons. No society leaves the biological act of birth or the rearing of children to chance. Personhood is achieved through a process of socialization. That socialization is subject to secular and religious rules about how the process should be carried out. Pursuant to these rules, family members have rights and obligations, which tend to be codified in both laws and informal agreements.

Aside from adoption, the major legal provision about families concerns marriage. We may not think of a marriage in itself as constituting a family, but we recognize marital relationships as part of families. Some families are conjugal, in that they contain one or more marriages. It might even be argued that if humans didn’t have families they wouldn’t need marriages, although families may often function well without marriage. In any case, marriage itself involves rights and obligations under the law, and it also creates family ties in law. Some of our family members join and leave the group either because of our own marriages and divorces or because of the marriages and divorces of other family members.

Other kinds of groups are subject to regulation by laws (e.g., contracts) and informal agreements, of course. Such regulations may exclude as well as include people in work and friendship groups, and they govern proper conduct within such groups. What such groups do not have, however, are relationships anything quite like, for example, cousins or aunts and nephews, which arise because our mother’s sister is married.

4. The biological (and affinal) aspect of families links them to a larger kinship organization.

It follows from what we already have said that families are not just small groups of closely related individuals who live together or interact on a frequent basis. Families extend outward to include anybody sufficiently related to us by blood, marriage, or adoption. This kinship group may have the identifiable boundaries of a clan, or it may be loosely organized and diffuse. Everybody stops counting distant relatives as family members at some point along the periphery. Nevertheless, the ties of kinship create the potential for lineages and collateral (i.e., within generation) family relationships that can become quite extensive. Through kinship, families are tied to history, tradition, and multiple generations of group members. In some societies, these kinship groups are major features of the social, cultural, political, and economic landscape. Work and friendship groups tend to be much more temporally and spatially encapsulated.

Children are so Important!

Parents are so important in rearing their children up in righteousness. Parents: Take a Stand and do what's right!

This is an excellent video: Children See, Children Do

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7d4gmdl3zNQ

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” - James A. Baldwin

“Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that He was a parent before you were parents and that He has not relinquished His parental rights or interest in these His little ones” —President Gordon B. Hinckley, Salt Lake University Third Stake conference, 3 Nov. 1996; in Church News, 1 Mar. 1997, 2.

Supreme Court Ruling

So, I'm taking a Child and Family Advocacy class- which is basically defending the family, and I LOVE it, because I LOVE my marriage and I LOVE my family. You guys.

There are so many people in the world that want good things, but don't know how to go about getting those good things. It's our duty as members of the church to share our beliefs, and stand up for not only your marriage and family, but also the marriages and families of others. 

With this Supreme Court ruling, we do know that God has a hand in everything. But WE ARE GOD'S HANDS. We can't just sit back because we think we don't know what we are doing or saying. We can't have the mentality that "someone else will do it". YOU are that someone else. We have to do what God wants, not push Him aside and take complete control of His hands.

Yes, equality is important, but so is our religious freedom. And just because we have lost this case, doesn't mean we should give up. We always have to keep trying. Joseph Smith said, “The Standard of Truth has been erected; no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing; persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame, but the truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every continent, visited every clime, swept every country, and sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the Great Jehovah shall say the work is done.” WE are responsible for spreading His Gospel.

Many have talked about the second coming, and we need to be prepared for when the Savior does come again. We have to be His hands, and we HAVE to be involved, and stand up for the sacred union of marriage. Christ will always help us, and He will be with us if we try. Exodus 4:12- "Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say." This is Christ's work, not ours, so we have Him on our side always. We now more than ever, need to fight for our religious beliefs and freedoms.

And I just love you all so much, you guys are just the best! I will ALWAYS fight for my family!!! Thanks for being so awesome!

So this is what Dallin H. Oaks spoke about back in 2009. I took my favorite parts out and put them below, but here is the link for the entire speech.

http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/oaks-religious-freedom

"And now, in conclusion, I offer five points of counsel on how Latter-day Saints should conduct themselves to enhance religious freedom in this period of turmoil and challenge.

First, we must speak with love, always showing patience, understanding and compassion toward our adversaries. We are under command to love our neighbor (Luke 10:27), to forgive all men (Doctrine and Covenants 64:10), to do good to them who despitefully use us (Matthew 5:44) and to conduct our teaching in mildness and meekness (Doctrine and Covenants 38:41).

Even as we seek to speak with love, we must not be surprised when our positions are ridiculed and we are persecuted and reviled. As the Savior said, “so persecuted they the prophets which were before you” (Matthew 5:12). And modern revelation commands us not to revile against revilers (Doctrine and Covenants 19:30).

Second, we must not be deterred or coerced into silence by the kinds of intimidation I have described. We must insist on our constitutional right and duty to exercise our religion, to vote our consciences on public issues and to participate in elections and debates in the public square and the halls of justice. These are the rights of all citizens and they are also the rights of religious leaders. While our church rarely speaks on public issues, it does so by exception on what the First Presidency defines as significant moral issues, which could surely include laws affecting the fundamental legal/cultural/moral environment of our communities and nations.

We must also insist on this companion condition of democratic government: when churches and their members or any other group act or speak out on public issues, win or lose, they have a right to expect freedom from retaliation.

Along with many others, we were disappointed with what we experienced in the aftermath of California’s adoption of Proposition 8, including vandalism of church facilities and harassment of church members by firings and boycotts of member businesses and by retaliation against donors. Mormons were the targets of most of this, but it also hit other churches in the pro-8 coalition and other persons who could be identified as supporters. Fortunately, some recognized such retaliation for what it was. A full-page ad in the New York Times branded this “violence and intimidation” against religious organizations and individual believers “simply because they supported Proposition 8 [as] an outrage that must stop.” [xv] The fact that this ad was signed by some leaders who had no history of friendship for our faith only added to its force.

It is important to note that while this aggressive intimidation in connection with the Proposition 8 election was primarily directed at religious persons and symbols, it was not anti-religious as such. These incidents were expressions of outrage against those who disagreed with the gay-rights position and had prevailed in a public contest. As such, these incidents of “violence and intimidation” are not so much anti-religious as anti-democratic. In their effect they are like the well-known and widely condemned voter-intimidation of blacks in the South that produced corrective federal civil-rights legislation.

Third, we must insist on our freedom to preach the doctrines of our faith. Why do I make this obvious point? Religious people who share our moral convictions feel some intimidation. Fortunately, our leaders do not refrain from stating and explaining our position that homosexual behavior is sinful. Last summer Elder M. Russell Ballard spoke these words to a BYU audience:

“We follow Jesus Christ by living the law of chastity. God gave this commandment, and He has never revoked or changed it. This law is clear and simple. No one is to engage in sexual relationships outside the bounds the Lord has set. This applies to homosexual behavior of any kind and to heterosexual relationships outside marriage. It is a sin to violate the law of chastity.

“We follow Jesus Christ by adhering to God’s law of marriage, which is marriage between one man and one woman. This commandment has been in place from the very beginning.”[xvi]

We will continue to teach what our Heavenly Father has commanded us to teach, and trust that the precious free exercise of religion remains strong enough to guarantee our right to exercise this most basic freedom.

Fourth, as advocates of the obvious truth that persons with religious positions or motivations have the right to express their religious views in public, we must nevertheless be wise in our political participation. Preachers have been prime movers in the civil rights movement from the earliest advocates of abolition, but even the civil rights of religionists must be exercised legally and wisely.

As Latter-day Saints, we should never be reticent to declare and act upon the sure foundations of our faith. The call of conscience — whether religious or otherwise — requires no secular justification. At the same time, religious persons will often be most persuasive in political discourse by framing arguments and positions in ways that are respectful of those who do not share their religious beliefs and that contribute to the reasoned discussion and compromise that is essential in a pluralistic society.[xvii]

Fifth and finally, Latter-day Saints must be careful never to support or act upon the idea that a person must subscribe to some particular set of religious beliefs in order to qualify for a public office. The framers of our constitution included a provision that “no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States” (Article VI). That constitutional principle forbids a religious test as a legal requirement, but it of course leaves citizens free to cast their votes on the basis of any preference they choose. But wise religious leaders and members will never advocate religious tests for public office.

Fragile freedoms are best preserved when not employed beyond their intended purpose. If a candidate is seen to be rejected at the ballot box primarily because of religious belief or affiliation, the precious free exercise of religion is weakened at its foundation, especially when this reason for rejection has been advocated by other religionists. Such advocacy suggests that if religionists prevail in electing their preferred candidate this will lead to the use of government power in support of their religious beliefs and practices. The religion of a candidate should not be an issue in a political campaign."

These are all just random articles and videos that I think are really good.

This article is a pretty non biased, and explains it further if you don't know that much about it, but it's good to know.

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2015/06/26/417717613/supreme-court-rules-all-states-must-allow-same-sex-marriages

Also, you've also probably heard of what the church has said about it, but here it is. There a link to the actual statement- The Divine Institution of Marriage, in this article below.

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865631490/What-the-LDS-Church-said-about-the-Supreme-Court-ruling-on-gay-marriage.html

LDS Church news conference on religious freedom and nondiscrimination

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAtc1iTOJtc

What is Religious Freedom?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMmComdllHI&feature=youtu.be

The Case for Traditional Marriage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvvvK_lcBXI

Parenting 101

This semester has been AWESOME!! Not only is it great being married, but I love my classes! I am taking a parenting class, and am learning so much! This book by Alfie Kohn, called-Conditional Parenting, has some really good principles and insights that I think everyone needs to know and understand, AND implement. Hopefully I have explained them well enough, but the principles that Kohn talks about are these....

1. Be Reflective- Don’t stop being troubled by things that really are troubling. Be alert for signs of unconditional parenting, and stop and think about the way you interact with your child. You may not have been even aware of what language you use, or of your tone of voice.

2. Reconsider your requests- “In some cases, the trouble is that parental demands are out of step with what can reasonably be expected of children at a certain age.”

3. Keep your Eye on your Long Term Goal- Evaluate what you say and do to your children. “Whether your child spills the chocolate milk today, or loses her temper, or forgets to do her homework doesn’t matter nearly as much as the things you do that either help or don’t help her to become a decent, responsible, compassionate person.”

4. Put the relationship first- We have to be willing to throw away our anger and hurtful words. “There will be times when, in order to do the right thing, we have to put our foot down and cause our kids to become frustrated with us. But before we resort to controlling interventions, before we make a child unhappy, and certainly before we do anything that could be construed as placing conditions on our love, we should make absolutely sure it’s worth the possible strain on the relationship.”

5. Change how you See, Not Just how you Act- Conditional parents make children pay for their actions through consequences when the child does something wrong or inappropriate. “Unconditional parents are apt to see the same act as a problem to be solved, and opportunity for teaching rather than for making the child suffer… Moreover, to see children’s behavior as a teachable moment invites us to include them in the process of solving the problem, which is more likely to be effective.”

6. Respect- “Taking children seriously is treating them with respect.” We should talk about our children the way we would talk about other adults, and talk to them like adults. “Children are more knowledgeable about some matters than we are.” They know when they are hungry, sleepy, and cranky, they know the quality of their friends, their goals, how people treat them, their urges, whom they love, what they value and what they don’t. “We can’t always assume that because we are more mature we necessarily have more insight into our children than they have into themselves.”

7. Be Authentic- Some parents are accused of being friends with their children, instead of parents. “But while we have to be more than pals, we mustn’t stop being people with them. We shouldn’t hide behind the role of Father and Mother, to the point that our humanity (or our human connection with them) disappears. We shouldn’t pretend to be more competent than we are. And when we screw up, we should admit it.” We need to be willing to apologize because it sets an example to our children that apologies are needed, and that we as parents aren’t perfect. It shows our children that it’s possible to acknowledge that we make mistakes, and that sometimes, things are our fault. “Children will still look up to us even if we’re candid about our limitations, even if we speaks to them from our hearts, and even if they can see that, for all the privileges and wisdom that adulthood confers, we’re still just people struggling to make our way in the world, to do the right thing, to balance people’s needs, to keep learning-just as they are. In fact, the more real we are with them, the more likely it is that they’ll feel respect for us.”

8. Talk Less, Ask More- To be a great parent is more a function of listening than explaining. As a rule, our first priority is to figure out the source of the problem, to recognize what children need. Our job is to create a sense of safety, to listen without judgment, to make sure they know they won’t get in trouble for telling us what they’ve done or be condemned for what they feel. Hugging and holding (if the child allows) can convey feelings much better than words. There will be time for words later.”

9. Keep their ages in mind- “Controlling parents… are likely to hold children to unrealistically high expectations, partly because they don’t understand just how unrealistic those expectations are. It’s completely normal for children “to fidget, to be loud, to forget to turn off a battery-operated toy, and to become unnerved by what seem to us to be tiny changes in their environment. We have to keep our expectations keyed to what they’re capable of doing.

10. Attribute to Children the Best Possible Motive Consent with the Facts- “Children construct a theory about their own motives based in part on our assumption about their motives, and they act accordingly: “You think I’m just plain bad and need to be controlled all the time? Fine. Watch me act as though you’re right.” We can help kids to develop good values by treating them as though they were already motivated by those values. Maybe what looked like a deliberate act of aggression was actually accidental. It’s important to realize that a one-year-old keeps pushing the spoon off the high just because kids of that age get a kick out of dropping things- not because she’s “testing limits,” and certainly not because she’s trying to make Mommy miserable. Just because a child’s action may have a negative effect on you doesn’t mean that was the child’s intention. We need to sympathize and try to understand why our children acted as they did.”

11. Don’t stick to your no’s unnecessarily- “It’s important to realize that children become better able to anticipate and avoid danger as they get older. (Of course, they’re more likely to develop these skills if they’re given the support they need and treated with trust and respect.) This means that many parental restrictions become increasingly less necessary and more confining. What matters most is the reason for our decisions, and the extent to which we’re willing to provide guidance, to support children’s choices, to be there with them-all of which is a lot more challenging than just saying yes or no. Don’t say no if you don’t absolutely have to. Think about the reason for everything you say.”

12. Don’t be Rigid- “Make it clear to your kids that what you’re doing is, in fact, an exception, something they shouldn’t expect all the time, but don’t let a fear of creating a precedent prevent you from being flexible and spontaneous. It’s healthy for children to see that adults sometimes disagree, which helps to underscore that we’re human. It also allows us to show them how people can resolve their disagreements respectfully-or in some cases, how we can just learn to tolerate differences.”

13. Don’t be in a Hurry- “Parents become more controlling when time is short, just as they do when they’re in public. Determine where it might possible to change your schedule in order to reduce the likelihood of having to rush your child. It’s often easier than you think to avoid urgency, the goal of being to allow children to feel unhurried so they can enjoy being children. It’s important not to be minute-wise, and hour-foolish. Trying to rush a small child is a fool’s errand. Therefore it makes sense to spend a little time now, to save more time later. “Don’t be in hurry”… also might be thought of as a reminder to slow down and savor your time with your kids.”

This is an amazing book, and even though he is very extreme with some of the things he talks about, it is ALL backed up and based off of research. I would HIGHLY recommend this book, if you want to be a better parent and person. The Principles though are all his opinion, but I agree with all of them. This book, not only helps me in becoming a parent, but a better person as well, because I apply these with my every day situations. I know that these principles are based off of attributes of Christ, and I know that Christ would use, and probably has used, each and every one of these principles. I just love learning!! And no, just because I am taking a parenting class, doesn't mean I am going to be a parent anytime soon. Just a little disclaimer for ya.

Why I Want to be a Teacher

I grew up in a family of 8 children, with two faithful, and dedicated parents. At times, it felt like I was all alone in the world because I would often get forgotten, but that just taught me how much of an influence one person could. There were many times in my younger years where my grandma was the only one there from my family to support me in activities, so I relied heavily on my friends, and their parents. My father was usually in another country working to provide for my family, and my mother was usually busy taking care of all the other children, and fulfilling her calling in church. I also had several teachers that took me under their wings, and cared for me, which is where my inspiration to become a teacher came from. At this age, I loved to play games like school, house, store, and I loved going to school and learning, and being around teachers who I adored.

            In my teenage years, I loved helping people and was really good at reaching out to those who were considered outcasts, because I knew exactly what it was like to be forgotten or ignored, and I knew I wanted to make a difference in others’ lives. It wasn’t until about a year before I left home that I realized how much my family meant to me, but I left home and went to BYU-Idaho after I graduated, because two of my brothers were already attending there, and I knew it was the right thing to do at the time. I think it was the best decision I’ve made in my life.

Ever since I arrived at college, I have rediscovered that I love learning, and knew that Family and Consumer Science Education was the major for me. I have loved every second of it. Many of my teachers have played significant roles in my life, and continue to make me a better person. Someday, I want to be one of those teachers for someone else who just needs that love that I have received from my teachers. I love to learn, and love to attend classes to hear all the insights from not only my teachers, but other students as well. It is so fascinating to learn new material, and to be able to apply what I have learned throughout college. Every so often, the Spirit will confirm to me that I am in the right place, and that what I am learning is so important for myself, and for my future family. I haven’t always loved going school, or learning, but I have never realized how important it would be, until I came to college and realized that up until now, everything that I have learned is applicable. I want to teach others what I have learned, but in such a way that they will understand, and realize how important learning is.

Why Life is Awesome

So, I just love my life. Here’s a couple reasons why. I love my major, my classes, my school, Idaho, my family, my religion, my friends, and horses. Yes horses. I love my classes this semester! I’m taking mostly classes for my major, which is pretty much what makes this semester awesome. I have a Meal Management class, Clothing Construction (sewing) class, Piano class, FCS Practicum (teaching) class, and a class called Family Foundations.

In my Meal Management class, I am learning how to manage meals like how to properly set the table, and what utensils and dinnerware you should use, how to keep track of the time while making a meal, how to make a balanced meal, how to budget your meals, and other good stuff that I need to know! I love it! In my clothing construction, we are making a plaid collared shirt, a lined skirt, a sweater, and a quilt! Sewing takes me a long time, but I love not having to just read out of a book, and I love being able to just think about life while sewing. It’s great. Frustrating, but great. I love my piano class, because I am able to re-learn everything that I learned before, but completely forgot like the second I stopped playing. I am currently trying to perfect the song “You are Loved”, by Josh Groban (whom I would marry in a heartbeat) and I LOVE that song! It is so applicable to EVERYONE!

In my Family and Consumer Science class, I am learning how to be a teacher, and I LOVE it!! I guess I just love learning so much that I want to make others love learning as well! I know teaching is hard-really hard- but I’m super excited to learn more about how to teach, and how to be a better teacher. The first week of school, in this class, my teacher passed out a little booklet of how to teach, and you know what it was? The “Teaching the Gospel in the Savior’s Way” guide book! What other school can do that? I am reminded every day that EVERYTHING I am learning in school, applies to the Gospel! I love going to a school where I can practice my religion.

In my Family Foundations class, we are learning about how essential the Family is, and how central it is to the Plan of Happiness! I love learning how to be a better person, and how important it is to learn now, so that I can be prepared for when I have my own family. I have learned to love The Family: A Proclamation to the World, and know that it is divine inspiration from Heavenly Father given to our Prophets. The Proclamation helps us understand our whole purpose here on earth, and what we need to do here on earth so that we can live with our families in Heaven. David A Bednar gave a talk called, “Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan” and I absolutely LOVED that talk!! You should read it!!

So, ya I just love school and how it allows me to be a better Latter Day Saint every day. I also had the chance to go horseback riding with two of my really good guy friends who used to be in my ward but aren’t anymore unfortunately. But anyways, I LOVE horses. And by love, I mean LOVE. It’s kind of an obsession really. I am determined to have one when I grow up, so that I can ride it every day. Background story: back when I was young and went to girl’s camp, we rode horses about every other year, and I loved it!! Except when I rode the donkey… Haha. Just kidding. But seriously, life is just great! I love my family, and my religion, and BYU-Idaho!

I Just Love My Family!

So, I basically just want to write about how much I love my family. Each and every one of my siblings and their spouses, and especially my parents and grandparents. They are the greatest influences on me, and I love it. I was just going through all my siblings blogs, and was just grateful for the example that they all set for me. They all married wonderful people, and I can just tell that their kids are being raised right. My nieces and nephews are going to be amazing people someday. Which by the way, I think last time I wrote, I only had two nephews and a niece. But I now have three nephews and two nieces, and I love it!! They are so much fun! And Stephanie and Davin are due in November with Truman! So exciting!! I just love my family, and am so excited to get married someday and start my own family with my husband. Someday.... That'll be one good day. I have a testimony of how important it is to be a mother and father. I know that that is one of the greatest callings we as humans have here on the earth. We are literally sent here to do just that. And spread the gospel. I am so grateful for my own parents, and for the example of my siblings and their spouses, of how to be amazing parents. And whether in this life or the next, I hope to have a family of my own, and raise my own children how Heavenly Father would want me to. I know how much of a responsibility children are, but I am so so excited to one day have children with my husband. I cant wait!! Except for the fact that I kinda have to. Anyways, I just love my family and the wonderful examples they are to me. I am so grateful for the relationship I have with each of them, and I would consider my family as some of my best friends. I love them!!

What if Everything You Had Was Destroyed?

So I'm in a Natural Disasters and an Environmental Stewardship class, and I just got on the news to see whats going on when I came across this video below. Then I looked up the Afghan landslide and I gotta say that I am so grateful to live somewhere where I don't fear for my life or families life everyday. At least for the most part. But I don't know how I could deal with what these people are dealing with. What would I do if my home and everything I had, got destroyed? Where are my priorities? How much do I value my material possessions? Do I value them too much? Do I value them above people?
This also just makes me so grateful for my family. And the chance I have to be with them in the afterlife. I know that even if my stuff got destroyed in a tornado, that I would still have my family. It also makes me realize what should be important in my life. If my home were to be destroyed, how would I deal with it? Would I curse God and die? Or be grateful for what I did have? Just something to think about! I love my family!!
http://www.weather.com/news/photos-tornado-outbreak-midwest-deep-south-20140427
http://www.weather.com/news/dallas-texas-severe-weather-damage-20140508
Afghanistan Landslide
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dN2Fy7Tu2X0
Baltimore landslide
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1ZJY779TFA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xvi-JNLRRU

Just Good Stuff

So in my environmental stewardship class we are talking about how the world is changing, and then again how technology is changing the world, in my World Foundations class. So I think its a sign for me that I need to reconfigure my life. And it just so happens that I found this video which is probably one of my new favorites. You might want to mute it at 45-46 seconds in because he does say a not very nice word... But anyways, I believe in everything else he says whole heartily. You can watch it here! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcQ_CeLguJo
And I just read this for my science class, but its awesome how it talks about the problems we have in the world today, and how we should view and overcome them, yet it was written in 1995. And it still applies to today, probably more than before. The Lords knows ALL.
https://www.lds.org/ensign/1995/09/serving-the-lord-and-resisting-the-devil?lang=eng
Oh and if your feeling down on yourself, watch this!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc4HGQHgeFE
And this!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35say5G5cz8
And this just makes me cry. But its still awesome. And I love Carrie Underwood. And the people that serve our country.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTnWFT3DvVA
And this one from Scotty McCreery. We're getting married. Someday.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFlv4O7VE-A
Ya you could say I'm addicted to YouTube. Ok, well I'll say it. I'm addicted to YouTube. I could spend hours and hours looking at random videos. Heck its how I found this gem right here!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gXotGSe_JE
Ok, I'm done now! Oh and I love my family! Chanda and Nate called me today, and after laughing through the whole conversation, I just had a much better day, and I'm so grateful for them and for the great examples they are to me. I love you guys! Peace Out!!

I Will Never Go Back To My Old Habits of Fasting

Today was an awesome day. Like Seriously. And here is why. I got to see and talk to my family!! Sure it was over Google chat, but it was awesome!! Oh, and I fasted. Which is one of the things that our Stake President told us to do out of the 3 (you can read my last post to find) out the other two. But anyways, today was the first time I have ever even tried to fast the whole 24 hours, but holy cow, I HAVE a testimony of fasting.
So last night I started fasting after dinner, even though I had a date later and we were going to watch a movie after that. So on my date we didn't eat anything or go out for ice cream which was nice for me that I didn't have to move my fast back even later today, but anyways it was tempting to eat popcorn during the movie, but I restrained. You can be proud of me. Haha. And later that night as I was getting ready for bed, I was trying to think about what to fast for and realized that basically all the other times I have fasted, I had just been like, "Oh yeah, I need to fast..... I'll fast to stop biting my nails." But this didn't really have much meaning to me because I didn't pray to know what I should fast for, or even pray before I started my fast. I just got that fast in my mind, and just awaited the hours till church ended so that I could go home and eat. I had no idea what I was missing. Actually taking the time to think about what I wanted to fast for, really made a difference. And then praying- actually praying for the things I was fasting for also made a difference. Normally whenever I wake up in the morning on fast Sunday, my throat is dry, a little bit more dry than normal which meant that whenever brushing my teeth, I could just gulp a little swig of water. Well today when I woke up, I wasn't even thirsty. Thank goodness. And as I was getting ready for church, I heard a knock on the door and it was the guys who brought the fast offering slips, so I paid my fast offering! I think I have only done that like once, maybe twice in my entire life. So it felt good to do that. Then me and my roommates went to church, and this is where I felt the biggest difference between my other fasts and this one.
First, our opening hymn really got to me and I could just feel the Spirit and the power that my Savior has in the song: I Know That My Redeemer Lives. Here's the link to the lyrics.
https://www.lds.org/music/library/hymns/i-know-that-my-redeemer-lives?lang=eng
The second verse was the most powerful to me because He just does SO much for us!! And we don't even realize that WE ARE THE REASON HE LIVES!! He lives to comfort me when faint, He lives to silence all my fears, to wipe away my tears, and to calm my troubled heart. He LIVES so that I can look to Him and depend on Him. That is just awesome!
After the song ended , and after the sacrament, and announcements, the 2nd Counselor got up to bear his testimony and my heart immediately started pounding. This wasn't just any normal heart pounding like when a cute boy walks by, but it was like, I could feel it through out my ENTIRE body, and I was worried I was like shaking the chair... It was just a CRAZY feeling that I had never experienced before. So I got up and bore my simple but very strong testimony about the Spirit and about the Temple and my family. And I just felt great.
So then in Sunday school I was just in a great mood which is... just great and it makes making friends easier, and listening easier, and focusing more on Christ WAY easier. And then we go into Relief Society. It was awesome!! One of my favorite Relief Society lessons ever. Oh yeah, and today I got sustained to be a Ward Compassionate Service Person, which I am actually really excited about. In case you wanted to know. Anyways, I got to Relief Society and it was fun because I just talked to the girls around me and got to know them, and one girl even told me that she liked my testimony, which was just nice to hear. But we had a lesson by my roommate about 3 things. Can you guess what they were?? Fasting 24 hours, praying in the morning, and speaking well of others. What a coinkadink! She first she started off by having us write down our goals for this semester and then told us that we could achieve those goals if we do those 3 things.
So while talking about fasting, I of course had to share my experience of today and how I have felt the Spirit ALL day today. In Sacrament Meeting, in Sunday school, and already in Relief Society. Which is definitely not a usual thing for me. And this just strengthened my testimony of fasting even more as the Spirit told me how awesome fasting can be. And I am definitely being blessed with the Spirit because I have fasted with a prayer in my heart. I just KNOW that when I fast, the Spirit of the Lord is with me, and I learn so much more, and become a better person. So then we talk about morning prayers which I have also just recently (like this last week) gained a testimony of, which was nice to realize that that is what makes my days go better. And this last week, not only did I complete what I hadn't the week before, but I pretty much caught up with my homework. I KNOW that that was the Lord helping me buckle down to do it, and get caught up.
Then we talked about improving our language. Which probably could have been a lesson in-n-of itself. Don't really know how to spell that phrase, or even what that means.... Anyways, our teacher showed us a video, and we only watched the first 2 minutes during the lesson, but then I went home and watched the rest of it and it is worth watching. Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYVvE4tr2BI
I just know that it is SO important to treat people like they are sons and daughters of God. I found this quote on Pinterest that says, "Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about, so be kind." I love this quote because no one on earth really knows what others are going through, so it is so important to be kind to everyone. Sure we aren't perfect, but no one is. We all sin differently. So we shouldn't judge. Judging a person does not define who they are... It defines who you are. And when we bring people down, we are also bringing Christ down. And my Stake President did not tell us to not speak bad of others, he told us to speak well of others. Which means that even if you just don't say anything at all, you are wrong. You should be speaking GOOD of others. And just on the opposite end of things, if you feel like everyone hates you, or you have no friends, and feel alone, never allow yourself to be defined by someone else's opinion of you. Your value doesn't decrease based on someones inability to see your worth. We just need to love everyone NO MATTER WHAT. Because everyone is a Child of God who is LOVED by Him and Christ so much that Christ died for them. And for you. And just adding in a little quote to sum up my thoughts:

I'm Done Waiting Around

So....I love school. And I LOVE to learn! Well at least about stuff that interests me. I hate being away from my family, but it is what is. Today in one of my classes we were talking about how we wait for things. We wait to gain a testimony until we read the Book of Mormon, we wait to go to school until we are financially able, we wait to be nice to someone until they are nice to us first, we wait to be happy until we are married, we wait to practice parenting skills until we are parents, and we just wait for life to happen until ____ (blank) happens. And this is so true! At least for me. And I am a procrastinator anyways, so I am pretty good at waiting. But who knows how much longer we have on this earth? I don't want to die tomorrow, and meet God and have him ask me, "Did you pray with faith, believing that I would answer your prayers? Did you study your scriptures like I asked? Did you pay your tithing and fast offerings?" And if I answered, "No, but I was going to do those things tomorrow, or next month...." I think I would just feel awful.
DON'T WAIT. DON'T HOLD BACK. This is life, NOW.
Christ has asked us to do the little things, one step at a time. I have a testimony that if we make little changes in the things we do often, we will be blessed by our Heavenly Father. I also know that when we are trying our best, Satan is also right there, trying to get us to mess up, just once, so that we forget what it feels like to be truly happy. Satan does everything he can to make it SEEM harder than it really is. He harps on things that aren't always the most important, but are the things WE care about. For me personally, he harps on the titles I don't have. Girlfriend. Wife. Mother. He knows exactly how to get me down, and is really good at doing it.
But just last night, My Stake President at a fireside, told us young peeps that we need to do 3 things this semester, that would bless our lives. And I am so grateful that its only 3 because any more than that would be tricky to remember. Haha. And I have an AWESOME Stake President, so I know this comes from God. And this is pretty much just quoted from him, but feel free to join in on these goals with me!!
1. Pray in the morning. I think most of us are pretty good at praying at night, but its the morning that we have a hard time with. And this isn't just a laying-in-bed prayer... Get up and kneel on the ground and pray for the important things in your life. Pray for the things you want to achieve THAT Day.
2. Speak well of others. Seriously. No- gossiping. No- talking badly. No- "but its the truth" type stuff. Cuz we all do that. So don't even start. Only GOOD things come out of your mouth.
3. Fast. This is a 24 hour deal. Sacrifice at least two meals- 24 hours.  When your stomach starts to grumble, tell it to stop. You have the power to stop yourself from breaking your fast. Pray to have the strength to fast this long. When at church, bear your testimony, if the Spirit prompts you. Pay fast offerings. Pay what it would cost to eat two meals. And finally pray to Heavenly Father and thank Him for everything.
I know that if we cry unto our Father, he will help. He might not take the rocks out of our backpacks, but he will make our backs strong enough to carry those rocks up the hill. I know that the Lord loves everyone and cares for us and is cheering for all of us to make the right choices, and I am so grateful for that love He shows me. I know He lives and can help us overcome anything if we live the Gospel.

The Atonement is REAL!

This last Sunday, I woke up earlier than I normally do, so I decided to just browse the Gospel Library on my phone, and see what interesting and uplifting stuff I could find to start my Sabbath day off right. Well under Institute, I found the subject: Preparing for an Eternal Marriage, which looked interesting. Not because I am getting married anytime soon... I'm not even dating anyone right now.... So anyways I clicked on it, and scrolled through and saw, Personal Worthiness and the Blessings of Eternal Marriage. So I clicked on it, just because. Little did I know that this would be the theme that I got out of everything that day. I would encourage you to read it - I think what reeled me in, was that it didn't look very long. And it actually didn't take me very long to read it. And I'm a slow reader. Anyways, here is the site - So READ IT.
https://www.lds.org/manual/preparing-for-an-eternal-marriage-teacher-manual/7-personal-worthiness-and-the-blessings-of-eternal-marriage?lang=eng
So after reading the scripture, Doctrine and Covenants 132:18, https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/132?lang=eng  I realized how important it is to be prepared for an eternal marriage, no matter where you are in life. And I want to be prepared for when I find the right one. And in order for me to be prepared, I have to be sincerely repenting. All the time. Why? Because I sin all the time. Ok, well maybe not 24/7, but I most definitely am not perfect. So anyways, pretty much the rest of the day, I heard lessons that had to do with the atonement. Which was exactly what I needed.
The atonement is REAL!! Let me tell you why I know this! So I came home from Idaho, and all I do is work and watch kids, so I don't feel like I move forward in Arizona. Its kinda weird. But anyways, when I come home from work, I just kinda chill, and I only have institute once a week, and church on Sundays. Whereas at BYUI I have a religion class every Monday and Wednesday, we pray and sing hymns in all my classes and talk about Christ, at least once in every class. And after school we pray right before our tournaments and games, so I'm basically surrounded by the gospel and its influence. Which I LOVE. But here its different. I have to try very hard to motivate myself to wake up earlier and read my scriptures. So when I first came home, I struggled. I started not reading my scriptures, and not saying my prayers. And let me tell you.... I had no idea what an effect it had on me. Until like a week ago.
I was at institute and we were talking about the scriptures and our relationship with Christ, and staying true to our faith, and about the atonement of Jesus Christ. And it was when our teacher told us to write down what Satan enjoys seeing ME doing, that I realized that I have changed in just 3 months. 3 months. That's all it took. All because I stopped reading my scriptures and saying my prayers. I realized that because I stopped doing that, I started listening to music with bad words in them, I started watching movies that had not so good parts in them, I started buying dresses that I probably shouldn't be wearing, and I was treating my family differently than how I should be. But I honestly had NO idea. I didn't realize that I had been doing all these things, until that Wednesday when I looked back at my life these past 3 months. And honestly I was shocked, because I had never tolerated this stuff before, but now it was a part of life. And I'm not saying that I went inactive or started watching r-rated movies or anything like that, but looking back, I realized I did not have a good relationship with Christ, let alone any relationship. And I realized it was because I didn't do the little things. Reading my Scriptures and saying my prayers. Its just crazy because you hear that your whole life, that those are the most important parts of your day, but I had never experienced it, and gained a testimony of that before now. I figured out for myself that I was a victim of Satan. He very SLOWLY led me off that path of righteousness and I never even realized it. I have a testimony of the last part of 2 Nephi 26:22: "And there are also secret combinations... of the devil, for he is the founder of all these things; yea, the founder of murder, and works of darkness; yea, and he leadeth them by the neck with a flaxen cord, until he bindeth them with his strong cords forever." It happened to me and luckily I was saved by the Spirit (And my institute teacher). Anyways, I just love this gospel and am so glad that I have a relationship with my Father in Heaven, and that He loves me enough to help me realize what I had been missing. No I'm not perfect, but I KNOW that where you are is the best place for you to be, and I know that I am where I need to be at this time. I love this gospel and know that Jesus Christ has allowed me to repent and become a better person through His atonement. And I am so grateful for that. Oh and just a side note, one of my favorite scriptures is Doctrine and Covenants 50:23-24. "And that which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness. That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day."
It just goes along with what I'm trying to say. Haha. And I just love it. But what was also pretty cool this last Sunday was when I was coming home from church, just thinking about the atonement and the power of it and everything, and when I checked the time on my phone and set it down, the song "Let it Go" from Frozen randomly started playing. I think I had paused it half way through, the day before or something because it started playing at the chorus. I was going to turn it off, but then I realized that this song was talking about the atonement! Not really, but it made sense in my mind at the time. And of course not all of it reminds me of the atonement but its just cool to think about letting go of the sins I had and never going back to them. Here are the lyrics!

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation,
And it looks like I’m the queen.

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door

I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway

It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all

It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free

Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry

Here I stand
And here I'll stay
Let the storm rage on

My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I’m never going back,
The past is in the past

Let it go, let it go
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone

Here I stand
In the light of day
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway

I just love how in the beginning, its like she is trying to just hide her sins and forget about them, but we all know that that isn't what Heavenly Father wants us to do. She then realizes that she has to let go of her bad past because it has been destroying her inside. My favorite part: "And the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all." As she looks to Christ and has faith in Him, she can truly repent and be free of those sins. "Here I stand And here I'll stay" This part reminds me of Doctrine and Covenants 87:8-
https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/87.8?lang=eng#7 and "Here I stand In the light of day Let the storm rage on, The cold never bothered me anyway." Is like Helaman 5:12-https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/hel/5.12?lang=eng#11
I love this Gospel for the joy it can bring into my life everyday if I live faithfully!

My LITTLE Sister's Birthday

So, this is my little sister. Except for the fact that she is taller than me.... But she is still my little sister. Today is her Birthday and she is now 17! Since when did she become a teenager?!! I swear I was just 17! But I'm actually like 19. Ugh. Anyways, Chalene is AWESOME. I love her.

When we were younger, like 9 or 10, I remember we would fight. ALL THE TIME. It was probably more me than her, but it was fun fighting!! I would sit on top of her, with my knees pinning her arms down to the ground, while I tickled her face with my hair, or started to drool spit that I would suck back into my mouth right before I lost control of it. (Occasionally it actually fell out. Maybe just once or twice though) And then eventually of course, mom and dads famous words become a reality, "It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt." And then we would get into a real fight. Well at least for 2 young girls. Not exactly like a cat fight, but as much damage as we could do, without hurting each other enough to get the parents involved. Cuz once mom and dad found out, we'd be worse off than before. But we would hit, Indian burn each others arms, kick, throw pillows, and occasionally pull the hair if we really wanted to fight.

But to my disadvantage, I bit my nails, which meant that I could never scratch her, and it made it hard for me to pinch effectively. I also was, and still kinda am, a germaphobe, so I couldn't just bite her, cuz putting my mouth on other human skin... That's just gross. You never know where that stuff has been! Well, Chalene, seeing as how I was defective in pretty much every way but strength, used this to her advantage. Lets just say I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't have scars on my hands or arms. Clothes were a problem too. Neither of us had more than like 10 shirts at a time, and since I was older and bigger, she always wanted to wear my clothes. This created a bit of a problem because I would find my clothes in her room, on the ground, wrinkled, dirty, and stretched out at the bottom, and would have to remind her (nicely, of course) to put my clothes back, quite often. Well eventually anything I said didn't matter because mom would just defend Chay all the time and make me feel so guilty for not letting her wear my clothes. Thanks mom. But anyways, it was just hard for me having a little sister, and there were so many times that I just wanted to.... Strangle her!! 

Well, as we both got older (and obviously way more mature), we just kind of stopped completely hating each other! Sure we still have to ask to wear the other persons clothes, and sign contracts of agreements, slice each others throats, but that's mostly because of the facial expression the other person displays while fearing for their life. But we can now share clothes in peace, share the same bathroom, curling iron, straightener, room, and even bed. Yes, I live at home, and my parents don't give me a bed. Anyways, I am just so grateful for Chay. She has truly become one of my best friends. She always has a way of making me laugh, and we could stay up for hours, just talking. But of course, we don't do that.... Haha. I love going shopping with her, going to the movies, going shopping, going shopping, listening to her read love novels to me every night, and singing with her at the top of our lungs to all the Barbie and Frozen songs. Chalene is awesome, and I am so glad that I have the opportunity to come home from BYU-I and just spend time with her. I can't wait for her to graduate high school so she can come to church and school with me! (Hint, hint) Sure we have had our hard times - refer to the first 2 paragraphs - but now, I couldn't imagine life without her, and am so glad she is my little sister. She is so talented - shes good at volleyball, all around athletic, great with little kids, plays the piano, plays the violin, has an amazing voice, (when she actually tries) is really good at shooting cans with rubber bands, has a gorgeous smile, strong in the gospel, and just all around, an awesome person. Someday I hope I can be like her, and I am so glad that my little sister is an awesome example to me, and truly one my best friends. She is going to be a killer wife and mom someday and her husband sure is going to be lucky. I love Chalene and I am so glad that we are not only sisters, but friends! Happy Birthday to the best little sister ever! I Love you!

I Love Valentines Day!

      So, since its Valentines Day, I'm just gunna take the next 20 minutes describing my Valentines Day. How horrible it is being single, and how I spent the day with my imaginary boyfriend, and how I bought myself flowers just so that I could feel loved. No, just kidding. I'm not THAT obsessed with wanting to have a boyfriend..... Ok, maybe I am... So what? But in all seriousnessness, today was pretty dang awesome despite my relationship status! You know why? Because I have THE BEST family. Like Ever. Seriously.


      Ok, so this past week, I have just been doing my thing, going to work, you know, making the BIG bucks (Ha), having to go to work... By myself. And just to let you know. I hate being by mythelf. HATE IT. Like.. I can't even go outside to the car at night, without somehow freaking myself out. But dad was gone, and was going to be gone till this Saturday. But on Wednesday night, whenever I got home from institute, I went upstairs to my room, and heard a familiar voice. It was my dads voice!!! He got home EARLY from his trip!! I went in his room to find him and I just felt the Spirit as soon as I saw him, and was so happy to see him I couldn't help but go up to him and give a big hug! Now my dad travels a lot, and by a lot, I mean A LOT. So I mean, he comes and goes often, so its just a normal occurrence for him to be leaving and then coming back home. But this time, I was SO excited to see him, I got teary-eyed! And I just realized how much I love him being home, and how much he means to me. He influences my life in many ways and I love working for him. Anyways, point being.... I love my dad. A LOT. And he is THE best dad ever. I KNOW that he would literally do anything for me. And I am so grateful that he is someone I can look up to. Oh, and can I just add how much I want my future relationship to be like his and moms? He always talks about how much he really does love mom, despite her shopping habit, or her not-answering-her-phone habit. He always makes sure that I know no matter what, that he loves her. And I am so glad because literally- my mom is awesome. No, not that kind of awesome. Think awesomer. Yupp. And he always makes sure that every one of us kids knows how much he loves us too. Working with my dad has definitely been one of the best experiences of my life. And I think its because I get to know him. I get to know what he does at work, I know how stressful his job can be, I know how hard he works, and I know what he sacrifices to make MY life better. I just love him so much, and am so glad that I am his daughter. I know I can always look up to him as my awesome example of what I want my husband to be like. I love you daddy!


      So then, today. Valentines Day. Oh Valentines Day. I have never really hated it, nor loved it. Except maybe when a guy I liked got me a whole big bag of skittles and chocolate. Best day of high school. But anyways, I was just on facebook, and saw all these girls posting about either A: How lucky they were to be with their husband/boyfriend/man of their dreams... etc. Or B: How...(Refer to sentence #2 of blog). I get it. If I had a boyfriend or whatever, HECK ya I'd be posting a cute picture of us, and every cute thing that he did! And if I was desperate to get sympathy comments about how so many guys are probably just secretly in love with me, or how cute I really am, or how boys are crazy to NOT want to be with me, I think I WOULD post a picture of me by myself! But no. At least not today. I might eat my words next year... But Honestly, today I realized how awesome my life really is, despite my lack of a significant other. Back to Facebook. As I was scrolling through, I happened upon an article that caught my attention, so I clicked on the site, and started reading. And holy cow. I am so glad that I did. Here it is. You just have to read it for yourself because its pretty awesome. Its a great way to view life. Especially if your single and just want to get married! It just kinda speaks for itself, and I agree completely. Oh and I love the movie comparison.
http://malcolmravenclaw.com/spiritual-experiences/single-wondering-will-life-begin/#more-1015
Oh and while I'm on the subject of being single, I also found another blog that I always think about, and refer back to, whenever I get down, or try to blame others. Just read it. Whether your single or not. Seriously
http://www.forwardwalking.com/when-happiness-hurts-2/
So ya, hopefully you actually read both of them. I know the first one is kinda long, but you NEED to read the second one. Its super awesome, and short! Both are pluses.


      So another reason why today was awesome was because I just got to talk to Nathan. Yes, my brother who used to do nothing but tease me, but now, he is one of my best friends. And I am so grateful I have him as an example to look up to. But I called him today, and was just talking to him about the boys nonexistent in my life, and his shoulder injury, and how he is still playing on it, but not to worry, because he is only blocking.... Crazy person.... and just about life, and Valentines Day. And you know what he said to me??? He said, "Well you know Caryn, (finish reading picture below, if you haven't already)





Ya. Despite his cruel, heart-stabbing comment, I still love Nathan. And forgave him of his sins. Haha. Its a good thing he was kidding.... I think. I hope. But I really do love him and miss him a lot. He has been at college with me, EVERY semester, and this semester, he is up there without me. And next semester is our last semester together at the same school. Sad. But I am so SO grateful that he treats me like more of a best friend instead of an annoying, immature little sister. He is just awesome!!


      Ok, so the other reason Valentines Day was awesome was because of my awesome sister in law, Stephanie!! I came home from work, just expecting the usual- everyone gone but Jordan, who is sitting at the TV, playing tank wars, so I go and lay on the couch and watch him strategically die-or not die, while asking him questions about the game, so that if I ever actually play, I can be a pro, while waiting for dinner to just magically appear on the table, and mom to say that dinner is ready, so we sit down and eat! But, tonight, this was not the case at all!!! I came home, and saw something on the counter, that was pink. And it had MY name on it. And it was Valentines Day. My awesome sister in law had gotten me lotion, and a necklace that she made herself! Just for me. It was just so awesome and so thoughtful, I found myself rubbing a couple tears away. I love Stephanie. And I am so glad that she married my awesome brother Davin. We also went shopping the other day (Me, Chalene, and Stephanie) and it was SO fun!! We were at San Tan Mall literally ALL day. I just love my family.


      Another reason Valentines Day was great was because I got paid!! Hooray!


      Another reason why my Valentines Day was awesome was the fact that my family came over tonight, and we just chilled at my house! I love it whenever Justin's family comes over. I always have so much fun just sitting in our family room, talking and listening to conversations, and just laughing. Side Note/Story: 2 Nights ago, I was over at Justin and Ashleigh's, just chilling with her and my sweet niece and nephews, waiting for Justin to get home. Well after the kids were all in bed, we tried hooking up my phone to her computer to get a video that I recorded of Ellie, while they were gone in Chile. (I WILL post it sometime because it is AWESOME.) So while trying to get it to work, Ashleigh noticed that Ethan's new guppy that he got from school, about the size of a small paperclip, had already dirtied its water after just two days, so we tried to figure out the best way to dump out the old water down the drain, without Ethan's friend going down as well. We figured the best way was to fill up a bowl of water, stick the fish inside of it, dump out the nasty water from the cup, refill the cup with fresh water, and dump the guppy back into the cup. After Ashleigh had filled the cup with the fresh water, we then had to think about how to stick the fish back into the cup. But before we had any brilliant ideas... The fish jumped out of the bowl, and into the sink. Before I could even think, Ashleigh starts screaming this blood curdling scream, and to my surprise, all I could do was laugh and watch as she hopped around, trying (with a fork), to keep the fish from flipping itself down the drain. Well after she stopped screaming, we had to figure out how to give this fish some water, so it could stay alive, when Ashleigh said "Oh man, if this stupid fish goes down the drain, Ethan is going to KILL me." Then it started to flip again, pretty high for a guppy about as big as a paperclip, and I hear Ashleigh say to the fish "Oh man, if you get up on my sleeve..." Haha. I seriously tried so hard not to laugh. It was probably because I had never seen my beautiful, sweet, always in control, sister in law, be.... NOT in control. Haha. You should have been there because it was hilarious. Seriously. And I'm not trying to make fun of you Ashleigh, I promise, because hey, I was scared to touch this paperclip-sized fish, but this is just now one of those times that you think about, and you just have to laugh because its so funny. Anyways, back to the story. So I grabbed a spoon, to try to scoop the fish into the cup, Ashleigh with the fork, and we tried to kind of pick it up and put it into the cup. Well finally, after a few more screams, and jumping, we got it into that small cup, and as quick as I set the spoon in the sink, Ashleigh had put the lid on the cup. Man. It was hilarious and this story DEFINTELY makes it into my 'funniest memories'. I could not stop smiling. It was just a fun-filled night with Ashleigh.


      I am so grateful for her, marrying my oldest brother Justin, and practically teaching me everything I need to know about babies, and kids, and other grown-up stuff! She is always so nice to compliment me, and do my hair, and just talk to me, and trust me with her kids!! I love Justin and Ashleigh's kids and Ashleigh is DEFINITELY another mother role model for me. You can just tell that she loves all of her children and would do anything for them, and Justin. She has shown me what being a mother is all about, and the joys and happy moments that come from spending time with your kids. She has a quote upstairs in the play room that says, "Love is spelled T-I-M-E" and this is so true. I have never seen another little girl besides Ellie, so sad to the point of crying, because she misses her mommy so much, after just one day of being gone, and so happy to go to the airport to get her. I hope that when I have kids someday, they will love me just as much as your kids love you. You are awesome Ashleigh, and I have always looked up to you and wanted to be just like you. I am SO glad that you are a part of my family, and that you married my angel brother. You guys are just the cutest, and I love you both! And of course your children, whom I could never get sick of*. (*Disclaimer: This is NOT an invitation to take off, and go to Hawaii for a year) :D


      So last week, I got an email from my favoritest brother in law- Nate. Thinking it was just a reply to a dota conversation my family has going on right now, I opened it and was shocked to see a picture that he had sent, of Chanda playing dota, with the subject line reading: Girls I need your help. And the email reading: So I plugged Chanda into the electric pacifier (aka dota) and tried my best at braids. I need yall to teach me the ways of the hair!
At first, I looked at it, and thought that it looked like something was growing out of her head, and then I realized it was just braids. Just kidding. I was actually pretty impressed at how well a boy-I mean a man, could braid hair! I don't think I have ever seen such a well-done braid completed (except for that little left out piece in the middle) by the opposite species. Job well done Nate!! I really miss Nate and Chanda! Chanda is always so good to make anyone feel loved and cared about, which is apparent by her calls at least once a month which I absolutely LOVE. The other day she called me (pretty much in desperation) and asked if I could come to Utah to curl her hair for the next two hours before Nate got home, and they went on their date. I love Chanda. And Nate can always bring a smile to my face, even if I do take forever going to the bathroom, getting my shoes, and getting a drink RIGHT before we leave. I can't wait for them to come and live in Arizona!! (This last comment is to be taken literally)


      Lindsay also sent me an email the other day asking everyone in our family to remember a memory or something about family dinners. It took me a while, but I finally got one. Thank you Lindsay for allowing me to laugh and remember this awesome moment that I had with Jordan and Chay. And thanks for marrying Barrett! I love you both and am super sad that you guys are graduating and won't be up there with me and Nate! You were always so nice to let me babysit your daughter, and pay me with dinner!! Best dinners I had all semesters. Seriously. Good luck with finding a job, and a home, and raising your adorable daughter, Celeste Lynn Smith! (Say that 5 times fast) Anyways, here is just one of my many memories at the dinner table. I would say its a poem, but it doesn't sound like one at all... Anyways, you can read it if you want!


So one time, me, Jordan and Chalene sat down to eat dinner at the table,
but mom hadn't made it yet, so we just snacked on whatever we could find, whatever we were able.
Luckily, we spotted some goldfish, and freshly picked tangerines, sitting around, just waiting to be eaten,
So we started to eat, but I realized this needed some chocolate, or something that would sweeten.
I ran upstairs, to find my secret stash, and sure enough, I found exactly what I wanted,
"These M&Ms are perfect, a scrumptious treat that I found" running back downstairs, I vaunted.
So we joyfully continued to eat the M&Ms, tangerines, and goldfish. Separately of course, but all still turning into chyme,
But just then, me and Jordan had a BRILLIANT idea!! Why not eat them all.... At the same time??
That obviously sounded like a good idea, we all thought, and a pretty dang good combination as well.
After all, M&Ms and tangerines must taste like a chocolate orange, those yummy things at Wal-Mart that they sell.
Chalene backed out, probably a little too gutsy for her, but she got out her camera recorder, cuz after all, we were still waiting for mom.
Jordan and I were still up for the challenge, and we had one tangerine slice, 3 goldfish, and 5 M&Ms, all just sitting in our palms.
Me and Jordan glanced at eachother, hoping one would back out, but Chay counted to three, and into the mouth, our food went squish.
At first, you just bit into the tangerine, which was really good, but then came the weird combination flavor of, the goldfish.
This flavor was definitely not worth the effort or calories, and obviously not worth the cringe that so easily came,
And when we thought it couldn't get any nastier, we had the M&M flavor, at which instant, me and Jordan thought exactly the same.
We learned an important lesson that day. Food is good by itself, but never make eating it together, just a simple game.
This video, P.S. is not available for public consumption.


      So anyways.... My point of this long post, is to tell the whole wide world (Or just you) how much I love you!!! Since your most likely part of my family. Yes, I know, I'm so popular. But I LOVE my family and am so grateful that I have all of you part of life! You are the best family EVER. Ethan the other day was asking some questions about how we are all related, and how we are a family, and Justin said something to him along the lines of "Someday your going to be lucky enough to meet a girl that you want to marry, and you'll be so happy, you'll want to become part of a new family, and start a family with her, and be with them together forever." This is probably really badly quoted, but I hope that someday I marry someone who loves me and my family, and is so happy that he wants to create a family with me. And of course we live happily ever after with 8 kids. :) But today, MY family is the best family for ME, and I am so grateful for my grandparents, parents, brothers, sisters, brother in-law, sisters in-law, and my nieces, and nephews. You have ALL influenced me in my life and have made me want to be a better person. I will always look up to your examples and try to follow in your steps so that I can be a better person, always growing with you, trying more and more each day to be more like our Savior. I love you and am so grateful the in the pre-existence, we chose to be sealed together forever, as an eternal family. I'm so glad, and you all just make me so happy! Oh and thanks for reading my blog! K, Bye!

Tender Mercies Tonight

Alright, I have just had the best night ever!! I am so freakin blessed, it’s not even funny. But to start off, babies are definitely little miracles that just prove that there is a God, and that He knows EXACTLY what He is doing. My little niece, Celeste Lyn Smith (Say that ten times really fast) was born today and as I went to visit, it’s just amazing what Heavenly Father allows us women to do and accomplish. And someday, I hope to have a little one to call my own, with the man of my life. Babies are just amazing and are truly a gift from God. As parents, we are loaned these precious, sweet little things, to raise while they live here on earth, and then we return them back to our Heavenly Father. It’s just so amazing to think about!! Ok, and the other thing is too- my brother is the sweetest!! First off, I was stressing out, not really wanting to hurry and pack for Utah, because we are coming back in two days anyways, so I decided that I would just stay here in Idaho. So Nate, who was really excited to go down, and wanting me to pick up the pace packing, just decided to stay here with me, after telling him of my plan. And I didn't even have to try to persuade him, he just trusted me, and decided to do whatever I wanted. And then when I went over to borrow the car from him-which he willingly gave up, I got a present from him!! Of course my birthday was last week, but how nice is that?? When I opened up my new pair of swim shorts which miraculously fit perfectly, and three new pairs of earrings, I couldn't help but just cry. I am so loved, and I just have the best brother ever. Who else’s brother plans months ahead for their sister’s birthday, and gets them a present?? Probably not very many.

My family just in general is awesome!! I don't think any family is more perfect for me, than my own. Everyone in my family is so awesome, and the awesomeness just keeps coming!! It’s crazy to think that my family started out as just 10 people, and is now up to 18 people!!And EVERY SINGLE person is special, and just brings so much fun and happiness into our family. So then, as it’s the semester, I took my last final today, hoping to get at least a 64 on my Nutrition test, just to keep my B in the class. Well, I just got home, and looked online, and I got an 83%!!And just to inform you, the last 3 tests I got a 64, 63.5, and then a 64.5. So I was pretty worried. But I passed with an 83! Of course I studied for the past 2-3 hours for it, but I just know right now that I am so blessed. And I just had to write my experiences tonight down. I know that Heavenly Father answers prayers, and He knows exactly what I need, exactly when I need them. And tonight was just proof of that, and that He loves me. And I love Him, and my family so much. They are all so awesome and I can’t wait to see all of them!!

And here is a story I just read that is just a good story.


Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same
hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an
hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from
his lungs.

His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on
his back.

The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their
homes, their jobs, their involvement in the
military service, where they had been on
vacation..

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the
window could sit up, he would pass the time by
describing to his roommate all the things he could
see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those
one hour periods where his world would be
broadened and enlivened by all the activity and
colour of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.Ducks and swans played on the water while
children sailed their model boats. Young lovers
walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every colour
and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen
in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in
exquisite details, the man on the other side of
the room would close his eyes and imagine this
picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window
described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not hear the band -
he could see it in his mind's eye as the
gentleman by the window portrayed it with
descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring
water for their baths only to find the lifeless body
of the man by the window, who had died
peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the hospital
attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man
asked if he could be moved next to the window.
The nurse was happy to make the switch, and
after making sure he was comfortable, she left
him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one
elbow to take his first look at the real world
outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window
besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have
compelled his deceased roommate who had
described such wonderful things outside this
window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and
could not even see the wall.

She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage
you.'

There is tremendous happiness in making others
happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness
when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all the things
you have that money can't buy.
'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The
Present .

Get Married and Stay that Way!

When parents say that it’s better for them to divorce instead of staying together, it’s actually worse for the kids. But often times, after divorce, they talk badly about each other, and start to hate each other because of reasons of getting custody for the kids. 70% of people in the US believe that 2 years after divorce realize that they made a mistake, and actually regret that they didn’t save their marriage. 70% also remarry within 2 years. Many people actually divorce out of passion, which sounds weird, but makes sense when you think about how people marry out of passion. But, most likely in all cases, you’ll probably have harder challenges after divorce. Which is why divorce can be so hard for everyone! Especially the children. Boys need that father figure, and daughters need a mother. Generally the boys learn from their father how to make money and be responsible, and the girls learn what they need to know about being a future mother.

Elder Faust in a talk he gave, mentioned some reasons for divorce, which are prolonged or abusive wrong actions, and addiction without effort to get help, or if they are just not doing things conducive to the Spirit. In D&C 50:23, it says, “And that which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness.” And it is evil to know that something is wrong, and to not do anything about it. And in Matt. 18:15-17, it says, “But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” I would just like to encourage everyone, no matter what you are going through to watch this video by Dallin H. Oaks because it’s awesome! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQ1yLFIEVNo Oh and also!! This is like the cutest video ever about what a marriage SHOULD be like. It’s just touching!! And I know that if we strive to keep our marriage together, and focus it on Christ and our spouse, we will be blessed and we have that opportunity to live our families forever!!! Which is awesome!! Ok, here’s the awesome video! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdCPMwhvJ88

Parents are ESSENTIAL!!!

The way that we parent our kids, affects both the parents and the children. If we spend time with our children, and teach them, we get to know our children, and learn of their wants, needs, goals, and dreams. When parents don’t parent their own kids, they lose that opportunity to truly know and love their own kids. They also don’t learn how to be good parents, and what is needed to know how to be a good parent. They also won’t realize the value of parenting. The Lord allows us to be parents for a reason. We learn and grow so much from teaching, and watching our children grow up, and learn themselves. We learn to love and experience true joy through children. And the Lord is kind and brave enough to lend us HIS children, so that we can raise them and teach them. Children need parents. They need someone to love them, and they need someone to talk to, lean on, and to love.

What are some things that our parents have taught us? What are some experiences that we have gone through with our parents? Now what if our parents were just gone, and we were raised by babysitters, siblings, or nannies? The purposes of parenting is to protect our children, and prepare them to survive and thrive in the world that we live in. We teach our kids to be in the world, but not of the world. If we are not actively participating in their lives, we cannot do that. We should be interested in helping to define our children’s character. 4 Characteristics that all children need to have are: Courage, responsibility, cooperation, and respect. Courage is needed for self-confidence, and its doing the right thing even when you’re scared. Model how to be respectful, because if we want them to treat us with love and respect, then we have to treat them with that same amount.

There are 5 major goals that all children, especially teens strive for. Belonging, power, protection, withdrawal, and challenge. Kids need contact, and to feel belonged. This isn’t a want, it’s a need, and it’s critical. When kids help, they gain a sense of belonging, which everyone wants. And everyone wants to feel like they can fit in, and are loved. Teach them how to contribute, and to cooperate. Both of these make us feel valuable. And little kids especially just LOVE to help work, cook, and clean. It also prepares them to be good parents if we actually let them help, and be responsible.

Give your children responsibility early so that they can conquer harder things later on in life. Responsibility=choice + consequences. People who take responsibility for their actions learn and grow from their mistakes. As parents, we shouldn’t interfere with the consequences our children deserve, and may have agreed on. Love your kids enough to let them have consequences without interfering, so that they can learn. When we put ourselves in our teen’s service and do not require them to accept responsibility for their own behavior, we are not respecting their ability to handle confrontation and stand on their own two feet. We also cannot be passive parents which are uninvolved parents who want to be more of a buddy or friend to their child, more than an actual parent. They just want the child’s approval, and that leads the kids to think that since their parents will do anything for them, they don’t have to listen. If we are passive parents, and don’t give our children any responsibility, nothing happens, and we are even hurting our child.

When giving your children consequences, put the consequence in the form of a choice. But make sure they are choices that you can live with. Ask them their opinions as to what the consequences should be, and let them decide. And make sure the consequence is logically connected to their wrong actions. There are two ways to give a choice. Give an, either/or choice. This works when wanting your kids to stop doing something. When you want kids to start doing something, give them a when/then choice. But these are not to be used as bribes. It was going to happen anyway, you are just emphasizing that the chore needs to be done before anything else, or something like that. And go through with the consequence. Do what you say you are going to do.

The key to communication is to start gently, then gradually get firmer. Use a polite request first, then if that doesn’t work, use an “I message”-it makes the problem the enemy, not the person, and if either aren’t working, use a firm reminder. Tell them. Keep it firm, calm and simple, and do not lecture. It doesn’t help, and it doesn’t get the point you want to make across. And expect your kids to test your patience. It may get worse before it gets better. But children need to learn responsibility, and know that there are consequences to everything that they do.

Make sure you figure out their feelings when discussing the problems. Don’t start off telling them to shape up. Talk to them and find out why they are making the choices that they are. Then let them know that there are still limits in the situation. Then try to find alternatives. It lets the kids know that you are willing to work with them, and let them help decide the things that they can do better. Put them into actions. Then decide the consequences, and make sure they are willing to put into action, the new alternative. The more you discuss feelings, limits, and alternatives, the less you need to use the consequences. And when your child has shaped up, notice their efforts, and recognize them and thank or praise them for following through with the agreements.

Ways that we discourage our teens is by expecting too little, focusing on their mistakes, expecting too much, and overprotecting. It destroys their self-esteem, and they will shut down, and not want to share anything, because they’ll think that nothing will be good enough. And if they don’t want to share, we can just encourage them to do what’s right. They need our unconditional acceptance of love. They need to know that they are valued for themselves, no matter what they do, and how important they are. Instead of expecting too little, show confidence. Instead of focusing on the mistakes, build on their strengths. Instead of expecting too much, learn to value the good they do. And instead of overprotecting, stimulate their independence, and teach them to do things for themselves.

When we don’t get our needs met, we try to receive it with a negative approach. When people don’t get enough attention, they will do anything to get it. Children especially are driven by needs. But unfortunately, you cannot get enough negative attention to feel good. So wise parents will offer concern, and love freely, and don’t wait till a kid is naughty to give them that attention they need. Encourage positive behavior. Write notes and put your thoughts in writing, because it can have a lasting effect on your child, or anyone. Write about their strengths, what you particularly like about them, and areas where you’ve seen improvement.

I was actually just looking through my messages, and found a couple of super nice texts from people that I truly look up to, and admire. These messages really meant a lot to me, and it’s just nice to know when I’m feeling lonely or sad, that there are people who love and care about me, and believe that I am an amazing person, and that I can be someone who can influence others for the better. I know that whenever nice things are said, it makes me feel so much better about myself, and it’s then easier for me to be nice to others. So I would just invite you to go and write to someone how important they are, and how much they mean to you. I know it has affected me, and it will affect the person you tell or write, for the better. Everyone is special and important, and the Lord loves everyone. YOU are special and important, and the Lord loves YOU. I KNOW that that is true, and don’t let any dumb thoughts get into your head saying otherwise. You are awesome. Especially for reading my blog! Because I know that a lot of it doesn’t make much sense. Sorry I’m not the best writer. So Thanks for reading!!

Oh! And if you want a guide on how to be better parents… Read the Book of Mormon. Seriously. This book gives so many examples of awesome parents, and what they do for their children. There are many examples of fantastic parenting, and fantastic parenting styles, you just gotta look for them!! Starting out, in 1st Nephi Chapter 1 verse 1 it says, “I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father… having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God…” Parents are pretty important if they are mentioned in the first verse in the Book of Mormon. And also, why we do what we do is found in 2nd Nephi 25:26. Look it up, and don’t be lazy, unless you have it memorized- then good for you. But teach your kids, and raise them right, and in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Because it’s the best freakin church ever. Seriously.